Danger, Ice Cream Ahead

Don't be fooled, ice cream IS dangerous and eating it with a small spoon, a teeny weeny spoon is NOT protection. How many times have you brought home Rocky Road; Hawaiian Delight; Rum Raisin; Black Raspberry or even worse, Breyer's Vanilla? How many times has it simply remained in its carton waiting for guests? How many times have you had the will to resist that creamy, luscious, sweetness till these "guests" arrived and plundered your heavenly carton of temptation? TWICE? ONCE? NEVER? My guess is NEVER? And so it is with me, Robin Hall, Ice Cream Addict.
Its worse than this. I don't even have guests coming over. There are no others to share the blame for disappearing the ice cream. I tried to blame the neighbors but no, they were locked out. I don't have a dog to blame. I look in the mirror, see the culprit with dabs of gooey whiteness stuck to his chin and hang my head in shame once more.
I can go for years without even buying this silky temptress, ice cream. Years of holding my head up, proud of my will to resist. Sure, there are the daily reminders of a chocolate failing. I don't try to cover that up: Nestle's Crunch; semi-sweet chocolate chips; milk chocolate chips; store brand if I am extra poor, Nestle's or Ghiradelli if I am a bit more flush most any chocolate really. Chocolate is another story, another failing. This is about Ice Cream. Danger, Danger!!!
Years back I knew about the problem. One night I had stopped by a fine local dairy in Dallas that sold Hawaiian Delight, fresh dipped it was, a half gallon it was. I took it to my friend's house, put it in the freezer and sat talking and smoking with three, stronger people. There was a bit of wine, hashish too. I don't remember much really. Later in the evening I got up, went to the freezer and rushed back into the living room, "WHO ATE THE FUCKING ICE CREAM?" I shouted politely. They all pointed at me. Oh, woe, woe, woe. And what happened to my memory?
The problem often CAN be blamed on others, temporarily. A "friend" will mention a sundae; milk shake; or just a cone of some frozen wonder. I wonder myself. I think. I act. ITS STORE TIME! There is that familiar sad rush to the grocers. I try to hit the freezer section last of course, and there they are: pints of "the good stuff", half gallons of middlings, gallon tubs of the store brand for the others who are more out of control than I, poor lost souls.
Today is another day of temptation. I woke up uneasily. There was some store brand vanilla waiting in icy ambush. I sit here at the computer almost quivering and wonder if there is a chapter of ICA, Ice Cream Anonymous anywhere, anywhere in the world and wonder if I can make it to a meeting in time?
I failed.