Internet Romance

Internet Romance
by
Robin Hall

This very morning I got email.
“Hi, Wonderful.” it said. I felt
great and kept reading. “I really
liked your personalize ad. I agree
with you so much I just had to
write. I am looking for the
same sort of relationship. We
look at the world in the same
way and I hope to hear from you
very soon. I really loved what you
said about learning new things all
the time.”

All right! A woman after my own
heart, nice use of words, a few too
many typos and misspellings, but
what the hay? I wrote back right
away. The whole enchilada: picture,
more info, reply to the personal
notes she included. By noon I was
almost in love. Then, nothing. No
word for 3 WHOLE hours, a seeming
eternity on the Internet.

Finally about 4 PM this came,
“I am in a verbally
Abusive relationship
Of twenty years and can’t get out.
Oh, I am sorry, yes, I do smoke and
What did that word polyamory mean?
WHAT? Well, I never intended to pursue
That sort of thing, perhaps we can
Be friends. No, I never heard of ICQ.
No, I don’t live anywhere near you, I
Am in Oregon I was just looking for
Someone to talk to.”

Folks, what’s going on here?
Well, while we were not looking
A new thing happened.
It sneaked into some of our lives,
Jumped all over us
Changed the way we communicate
Then confused us to boot.

Why would we tell:
Our life story,
To a complete stranger,
Think they are real,
Expect them to behave as we want,
And be hurt when they don’t?

What is that?
Foolishness?
Hopefulness?
Loneliness?
Or have we all gone mad?

We used to meet at work,
Church, through friends and yes,
Even ads. Then we would
Wait for the mail.
Hoping, expecting, dreaming
Of a bright future, planning.
We might wait for days, weeks,
Months, years.

Now, if the server is down,
The computer crashes,
The lines are busy,
The other person has other things to
Do and a few hours pass without word
We are willing to dismiss the
Whole damn thing.

Rats, she didn’t write this morning.
It must have been something I said.
Maybe she has a new boyfriend. How can
I find her to say I am sorry? Uh, now
What was her name? Where did I put my
Address book?

Repeat the first paragraph.
This is a Recording.
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