Real Memories 1

Real Memories 1: Early drinking problem and psyc wards.
by
Robin Hall


The day I graduated from college I put wine and Rice Crispies in the blender for breakfast. I don't recall the rest of that glorious day. I got my degree, my diploma. I woke up another day. That was Dec. 1974 or maybe it was August.

I was married. We drove to FL to work with John Costaine McCamy in Human Life styling. That lasted a month.

I got a teaching assistant ship to a school in Omaha. I went. Three months after arriving I tried to electrocute myself and spent 2 months at Nebraska Psychiatric Institute. It was pretty good except they gave me anti psychotics instead of anti depressants.

One day they gave me prolixin. The next day I was literally walking in circles. It seemed my left foot was nailed to the floor. They gave me something to relieve this.

My wife left me for another woman just before I went into the hospital. She stole my car, my records. She did not give the cats away, tend to them. I got back to the house a month later, I had two one-month admittances, the poor cats were roaming around the house hungry, thirsty etc. They had peed everywhere.

I got my MA from Florida State University, August 1982. I had spent the week previous to finals in the local mental hospital. Florida had some deal where you got out in a week, no there was a 4 day hold. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was two weeks.

The day after I got my MA I drove up to Atlanta and headed immediately back to FL. I lived with my grandma for several years, taught 24 sections of speech in the local Community College, worked at Florida State Prison for a month.

I took 1800 Mg. of lithium a day for 2 years, some tricyclics in addition, for half that time. I slept a LOT. I only missed two classes in 3 years at PBJC. I don't recall a single student's name. I recall one face.

Real memories, for me, are often that I didn't recall any memories from some time or other. Long fugue states seem to have happened. Most of my life is a fugue.

Borked

Borked
by
Robin Hall and Others


Borked is not a word, nor is doh. Yet, when I updated / pinged my blogs at Technorati both were used to tell me their site was down.

I actually understood each word at a different level which essentially was: "Oops our site is fucked," or with yet other words, "We are sorry for the inconvenience, our site is not working right now."

I liked their version but can you feature any English speaking person ANYWHERE in the world, however fluent but without the Internet to check current word usage, understanding this slang? Still its fun.

Wouldn't it be neat to have a comedy show, say Get Your Freak On, International, where top comics from anywhere who were totally fluent in English, vie for the ca$h as TOP Freakin' International Comic? I would watch it.

Imagine Scots, Americans, Irish, English, South Africans, New Zealanders, Canadians, Australians, real Indians and whoever the fuck else was fluent / had nailed our HUGE language, with whatever accent, ALL competing and what fun we could have checking out who would be the top freaking English speaking comic in the whole world?

There could local tryouts in virtually any country in the world for half hour shows. Regionals etc. There could be videos sold for the top comics in each venue.

In the end ONE person would actually BE the funniest person ANY English speaking human in the world. This person would have simply shattered the funny bones of more humans than anyone in HISTORY, other than some of the politicians...

6 to 9

6 to 9
by
Robin Hall


Every da is dayja vu,
Every night's a nightmare 2.
Sittin' here doing 6 to 9,
All I got is lots of time.

Others here they doing life,
Outta the cell, lotsa strife.
Stayin inside, goin outta my mind
Go outside, you in the grind.

You got no friends when you inside.
Everyone wants to have a ride.
Read all day, cry all night
Guys and gals, you best learn how to fight.

What to Watch on TV

What to Watch on TV
by
Robin Hall


Ultimate Fighter OR Giada in Paradise were my choices on the last VCR tape. I rarely choose, just watch.

UF was silly. I wrote SpikeTV and suggested they take the gloves off, open the fights to everyone and see if their ratings improved. No answer.

Giada is a Food Network cook with 4 star "C" cup cleavage. I opted for her show.

DRAT. I cannot even watch the show for the cleavage. Its like a cobra and the waving of the pipe by a snake charmer. OK, for me, more like a small grass snake and a snack, but still.

I have 148 more tapes to choose from.

Confusion reigns. I am drenched. Its 4:15 AM. Drunk as usual.

Blood, Water and Truth

Blood, Water and Truth
by
Robin Hall


This one is short.

Blood ties: paternity, maternity, sorority, fraternity. Its my experience that all these so-called blood-ties are simply bull shit, per se, and NOT thicker than water. NO ONE chooses family AND family often UN-chooses its own members.

Sometimes we find our true family, or begin one. I am guessing mostly we are neither born into our ONE true family nor do we find our own. I am guessing we spend much of our lives TRYING to find our family, trying to find our own true family or some ONE/S.

Ask yourself this current question. How is that going for you? Answer. Look into the fucking mirror of your life and ANSWER, for once in your life ANSWER, truthfully.

Are you with who you want to be with or are you not?

Waging Beauty & Wonder

Waging Beauty & Wonder
by
Robin Hall, and a friend


Maybe we make up even this notion, a transcendental experience. What if children were allowed to develop completely apart from gods, religions and Jung? Would this sort of experience not then fall to them as well BUT they would have knowledge to integrate it?

As they are growing they are introduced to all the best the world offers from, say, 4 languages to be fluent in, to maths, musics, all the arts and not just in viewing, but participating, creating.

Then as time passes, the children are introduced to the past and to the present.

They are introduced to the range of human behaviors and emotions, shown that what they are learning is completely unique and they will be forever unable to discuss their background with OTHERS but they will be introduced to the skills needed to interact with virtually any others.

They learn many games of chance, sports, a serious martial art like tai chi from early youth. Acting as well so they can hide what they know from anyone.

They learn to survive on their own in any situation over time.

Then what would they be? New humans with a different chance in the world at large. Maybe they would have a chance to change the world, maybe to make it through any disaster we might face.

Stories might be written about them or they might go un-noticed ever and just wage BEAUTY and WONDER within society.

Maybe its already happening in ways that don't seem like beauty and wonder. Maybe the carpenter down the street, working 10 hour days to feed his family AND make nice houses is part of the beauty. Maybe the janitor working for his or her family is the wonder.

Plain folks doing the right thing, taking care of business. There may be hope for us yet.

Bestiality, Its Not New

Bestiality, Its Not New
by
Robin Hall


For the most part, I think bestiality is wrong. This is not some silly religionist view or moral issue.

Humans need some standards and this should be one. Don't fuck animals. Its almost always rape. Period. Especially when its a man and animal.

Sometimes an animal might have fun with a woman, sometimes but NO human could ever know, EVER.

Now the Internet lets us view humans communing with animals. I checked out pictures at one point in my life.

One was actually funny. It was a woman being fucked by a VERY large dog from behind.

Dog and woman were going at it, seemed to be having fun AND both were looking to their right into the camera's lens. Neither were embarrassed. We all need to ponder such behavior.

I hesitate to mention this but there was another instance that seemed OK. A VERY sick looking woman was having it off with a dog. Likely her illness was terminal AND contagious.

I am sure there is little research here but IF she was a decent person, had determined the dog would not be harmed by the human / dog illness, well, why not? This congress would be better than infecting a human and IF each had fun, again, why not?

Is this more than we should be chatting about?

Incest 4 U

Incest 4 U
by
Robin Hall


Incest is another human problem.

This never seemed troubling to me until I realized most of it was forced rather than explored naturally or even more, simply part of the life of any family where sex was there from an early age and ones participation was chosen by each person on their own terms in their own time and ONLY IF it is interesting. In many families it would not be.

I read an interesting sci-fi story that explored this and it seemed very natural.

I expect a fatwah at any moment.

Hey, blogging is hard work and honesty is needed.

I recall my younger days. I lived in a small town. Two blocks away was a family and even 50 years ago, there were suggestions of brother and sister being intimate. It seemed shocking but why? If you cannot love your family, who CAN you love?

Cannibalism and Suicide 101

Cannibalism and Suicide 101
by
Robin Hall


Read the blurb for this flick, Delicatessen (1991) . Just google the movie and click the link with IMDB, the Internet Movie Data Base.

Oh so many years ago there was an Alfred Hitchcock offering on TV about the same subject. There was a REALLY exclusive dining club and the entrée could be a you...

Now this is not a suitable topic but for some reason its come to mind recently. A Modest Proposal http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html is my earliest recollection of Cannibalism and schools did not ban this reading.

Cannibalism has many benefits like lowering the population AND feeding the rest of us. Nicely prepared muscle cuts could be served to most anyone. I would refuse brain dishes. Human chittlins / chitterlings is not going to happen for me but many problems could be solved: Suicide by butcher knives would help many a person leave their own intolerable life for instance and I suspect many people would opt for this.

Dr. Kevorkian actually improved the quality of life in my view. When our quality of life is lower than what we want, suicide seems logical.

Suicide by dining experience is one way to make our lives count.

Another great suicide value is a full medical harvest of everything that is us. Lots benefit and isn't that a fine way to leave the world?

Even for folks who felt their life was worthless, going out as a full harvest or suicide by feeding others, well you finally have a fully useful life.

Of course the men who designed some religion or other have these as some of their main strictures but folks need to think for themselves in this and all things. Removing religionists from office on all levels will go far in helping USA citizens to really live the free life they are promised.

Religionists have always made this sort of promise and never delivered. They never tried to UNLESS one believed in their particular higher being / god etc.

Its a false promise they give and is based on MEN making the rules so SOME people could advance at the cost of others NOT advancing. ALL religious promises are based on this. We need a change or these religionists will finally have their way.

The problem here is that each brand of religion has a view to promote and these views are very often at odds. NO current grouping of religionists, getting their way, would allow the world to survive.

Think about this.

Still, religionists should be counting their days and are not. I want to live long enough to see them in fast retreat due to the pain they cause the world with these ridiculous MALE-made fantasies of some brand of god or other who is all seeing, all knowing BUT go across the street to another brand of religion and the goals could be to kill others who believe differently and aren't we all at risk FROM religions?

Remember Soylent Green? This is not an original thought, dining on ourselves.

Humans DO have problem areas and eating cousin Sam or the like is one of them. Maybe its time for a change.

End of rant.

Progress? Corporate Greed 1

Progress? Corporate Greed 1
by
Robin Hall


Take NiMH batteries for instance, please. Daily I use rechargeables, have for two decades, in flashlights, timers and mostly remotes.

I have used the same remotes through the change from NiCad to NiMH and my view is the newer NiMH last about 1/4th as long as the older technology. Imagine. Progress at its best, for BIG business.

Surprise. Consumers get fucked when big business MANDATES a paradigm change and guess what, the product is worse than what it replaces.

Its even worse than this. I have two devices that simply won't take the newer NiMHs. No, the newer, better batteries are slightly too large. I wonder if this is a mistake?

Duh. NO. Another chance to fuck the consumer. Not only do the newer batteries NOT last as long per charge, they don't even fit some older primary products, making the buying of a new primary device a must.

Isn't big business just too much fun? Wouldn't you like to be bigger than big business and TRASH them when they do this sort of thing?

I am guessing the cost of that good a lawyer would be more than simply going along when big businesses REQUIRE us to, but wouldn't it be nice to be able to afford that good a lawyer and sue the fuck out of big businesses aimed at greed, not at helping us live better lives?

Dragonfly Ballet

Dragonfly Ballet
by
Robin Hall

Butterfly Ballet sounded like a nice title too but what I saw was dragonflies. I was taking my daily walk and was on the way home, when I saw this marvel. I saw it before I imagine but missed it completely.

There is a small park downtown with running water pools. The dragonflies were in the grassy area near the pools but not in the next grassy section. They stayed within the boundaries of the sidewalks, an area not 400 square feet.

I don't see quickly enough perhaps and a high speed camera would help but it certainly looked like a ballet to me. A group of 6 seemed to stay together much of the time while others soared out towards the boundaries, the sidewalks, only sometimes actually going over them. The outriders would then fly back to the group and sail round and round.

I was "in a hurry", on my walk, taking my exercise and didn't stay for this aerial ballet but I knew I should have stayed. Why are we so busy that we miss what we are really looking for, beauty?

You could pay lots of money, dress up, sit in a fine theatre and not see anything so wonderful, yet I passed up my chance for observing natural splendor just to finish my exercise. I knew I would write about it, try to remember all the moves I did see but that is not the same is it?

When is the "right time" for beauty? When do we slow ourselves and have what we want rather than feeling lonely and left out? I think I let myself down today, lost an opportunity.

Yet, there are other beautiful things out there. Beauty on beauty awaits us if we take time to notice. Will I stop and watch the ballet next time? Will you join me? We shall see...

Culture, Counterculture, Society

Culture, Counterculture, Society
by
Robin Hall


This note is mostly a set of questions. So many questions, so small a brain. : ^(

I looked the words up and there are problems so the following will definitely reflect some of these problems. I use several fine dictionaries OFTEN. Yet, the interactions of words is not as simple as many think.

Most just don't think and serious problems happen in the name of righteousness, self sanctification, familiarity or fear of the future and the real world, of others.

The main question is this: what sort of stresses, per se, does trying to live in more than one culture at a time produce? Each culture and or society [ Please look these words up no matter how smart you are. Use 1-Click Answers , google, a dictionary or the like but do look up the words, they are trickier than I thought to pin down. ] has its own stresses for most folks IN the culture.

Few cultures are simple and uniform.

Historical cultures were not as simple as we thought.

Most cultures today have external cultures coming into their culture and upsetting or challenging the culture and at such a fast pace that conflict is inevitable.

Change today is rapid often rabid.

People in rapid flux often depend on previous cultural influences that fail the standards of today. Tragedy is inevitable.

Religions of the past clash with their own present day version/s AND the values of present day society.

Essentially or an example. Say you live in a muslim society / culture. Some of the world despises the way your women are "treated." Most of the world won't tolerate your extremists mandating, "Convert or we will kill you."

You live in a time of so many different cultural influences that confusion reigns and rains and reins.

What to do? Some will embrace the new. Many of these will suffer or have to migrate and start over.

Some will not embrace the new and will break off. Some of these will become very radical, some moderate.

All are confused but is the best way to deal with other cultures to kill them? Pervert your children into believing the very oldest parts of YOUR culture is the ONLY way to live in the modern world? Build so called schools, madrassas that teach NOTHING but your koran, your bible, holy book AS INTERPRETED BY SCARED MEN, oops, should the letters be interchanged? for you; and also teach a level of hate toward others unheard of in the world today?

I think not.

Getting back to the main question. Well, that is what I tried to do.

The stresses of modern changing cultures, the intense pressures of integrating into a real world that you don't care for, well a proper response is not to kill folks who don't embrace the older versions of your culture or modern versions either.

Simply not falling for YOUR version of the world should not place anyone at risk. Sure, do as you wish but when you wish to kill me in this. If I don't believe YOU, hey, lock and load motherfucker. I NEVER did anything to you. YOU did this. Lock and load and understand that in America, WE can own arms. Drat. I just spoke out for the NRA. Well, I could have been wrong but Charlton Heston was never MY president and you NRA members should check your bumper stickers for this.

Our Constitution did not state the NRA's president was the country's president and you are under the microscope for this ridiculous bumper sticker and NO one of your cohorts will admit to being wrong or criticizing any NRA member and something stinks and your rhetoric is HURTING the USA in this.

Some folks today just ignore culture and try to live like previous generations did, but peacefully. No one suffers in this social experiment.

Some adapt to the new influences and their past is diluted or forgotten.

Some flourish in the changes, BUT, many cultural / human aspects of life get set aside or worse.

Life IS changing and always has. The range of reality is broader than we, personally, might wish, but its going on. We cannot kill others who don't believe as we do.

The range of what makes us human is greater than we might wish to understand and includes more than these items:

-Culture

-Society

-Biology

-Emotion

-Intelligence and intellection / thinking. Hmm. Thinking does not require much intelligence and many forget this.

-Spiritual leanings. Well this is troubling since many have NO such leanings and are often criticized, killed or worse by those who do. Another problem is others with different spiritual leanings. They, too, are often criticized, killed or worse by those who have one belief.

-Greed. How many wars, bombings, murders and the myriad of human tragedies haven't have been caused, at least in great part, by greed of the wealthy and those wishing for more than they earned?

-The ability to completely misunderstand others due to language, social and cultural differences and hasn't this been a problem over the eons?

Yeow.

Now with all these problems. Is there anything that can be done to lessen the problems of cultural and social differences, the changing times, etc.?

I have no answers. I have suggestions. Maybe you do. That's too easy isn't it? We all think about the future and try to do better.

Now add all of society's or culture's "others." People in their own country, culture, society who don't fit average society in one way or other:

-gays / lesbians are in all societies. They don't call for the destruction of society yet they "challenge" some status quo or other AND are still in danger in most parts of the world. Wouldn't love and acceptance help here when some societies, cultures say NO to their own members?

-people who are damaged. What to do with them? Love and respect them or try to ignore or hurt them? Look within. You might be next.

-people who are different, and this includes artists, recluses and more varieties of humans than anyone wants to feature and what to do with them? Love and respect them or try to ignore or hurt them?

Well, more than a few questions. No answers or solutions here other than embrace differences, add love and advance into the facts of the future the best you can without killing others.

No fatwas required.

The Basis of Religion: Magic, Control, Ritual and Comfort

The Basis of Religion: Magic, Control, Ritual and Comfort
by
Robin Hall


I was just thinking I really want to see magic. Not illusion. Magic.

My brain wrangled with that a bit and I came up with this note.

Its my view that religion is completely fabricated, usually by men, not women, and that it is based on these 4 things: Magic, Control, Ritual and Comfort. We want these four things to explain life and help us live it.

1. Magic. Two simple examples: the popularity of magic shows throughout the ages and today, Transcendental Meditation, TM. In the mid to late 1970s Maharishi began to promote the siddhis, the eight occult yogic powers, though he seemed to focus on levitation but google siddhis and you can read all you want.

He might have been coerced into this. Osho®, aka Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, had his Sheela, so who really knows? Getting laid is a powerful form of almost magic and maybe its the closest we ever get.

Anyway, I think we want magic for some reason and many people exploit this, especially the religious.

The Prestige film has a good explanation of the three parts of illusions or "magic." The setup, the turn in which an ordinary object does something extraordinary, such as disappear and the prestige when the ordinary object is restored through extraordinary means.

What does this mean for us? We WANT the prestige to be real to be magic. We really want there to be things we cannot explain at our level of development and magic fills the bill but its mostly illusion so don't take the bait.

And how many of you EVER saw one of the siddhis? There was supposed to be one, walking through walls. Yes, that one.

One TM instructor STATED that their center at Lake Lucerne had skylights that opened so the Siddhas could levitate over Lake Lucerne. Hmm. Show me that one too.

2. Control. Many want to control others AND many others want give up some parts of themselves to others, like a vacation from responsibility, hence the popularity of in the catholic church for confession, forgiveness and the like, so control is important in these manmade religions.

Don't forget sadism and masochism either. Some want to control, some want to give up control but in doing so, actually control others. YIKES, isn't that complicated?

3. Ritual. I have written about this before. Just read that, but more importantly, think for yourself about all of this.

There is a very powerful longing to be connected to others in an ongoing way. Rituals become important, then twisted and "sanctified", then perverted and we are left today with football, churches and The Survivor.

4. Comfort. We like to be comfortable. Its often comforting to visit a church, sing songs, listen to someone else tell us how to live, eat ice cream with other believers, have picnics with them and get revived from time to time in a tent.

I would rather have a nice reclining chair, turn up the AC in summer and have beer. That is comfort too. There is karaoke for the singing part even in a small town. I can watch the news, shopping or travel channels to find someone to tell me how to live. I don't own a tent but I can visit them at WalMart.

Picnics and icecream? In the South, these are no-brainers.

I think a religious experience is just around the corner.

Isn't this fun?

And another part of this religious bull shit. Ask yourself one question. There are many TO ask but just this one should do.

IF there is such a thing as an over being, a god, many gods etc., and forget ALL your counters to this question for once in your life, that is free will and whatever else comes to mind. Just ask this one question of YOURSELF. How can you pray for forgiveness, justice etc. from some over being which allows child abuse?

The range of this abuse is immense. Children in madrassas grow up and become suicide bombers. Children molested sexually who grow up and molest.

Just this one question. How can some all powerful being allow child abuse? How do you expect YOUR prayers to be answered?

Accept and Love Your Friends and Family

Accept and Love Your Friends and Family
by
Robin Hall


Many of us have IT; and here that means any illness, mine is the entire depression syndrome and alcoholism. Yours could be ___.

Many of us have other things going on or are different from society's average, norm.

We might be addicted to ??? alcohol, various drugs, various...

Maybe we are creative and this gets in the way of acceptance. We are different, we are the same people even so.

Maybe we are gay or lesbian. Hardly personal preferences, just us as we really are. We are the same person BEFORE you knew and we are the same AFTER you found out. We are different and who gets to pick who they love? We are the same.

Maybe we are tall.

Maybe we are short, really short, a little person. Different, but the same. Do we not think as others, behave, love?

A muslim? A christian? A jew?

Shakespeare was telling us about acceptance when he wrote, in The Merchant of Venice, "I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?"

Just put your family member's or friend's OTHERNESS in place of jew. ARE we that different? Doesn't acceptance and love of our favorite people begin the way we define OUR core self?

If you accept and love us us do you not gain? If you do not accept and love your own family, your own friends for some "reason," who is to blame but YOU?

Seek within. Look in the mirror of life that you know this is about and judge yourself. Then realize we ARE you and if that mirror cracks, its not US that cracked it.

The RAGE

The RAGE
by
Robin Hall, aka Fucked

When the RAGE comes, what do YOU do?

Now I don't care about what you do anymore than you care what I do of course.

The RAGE is more than care, beyond words, "sharing," love, choice, wishes, intent.

Its more than we are capable of handling. Its more than anyone can tolerate, "deal with" or other horse shit.

The RAGE consumes us, friends, family, others.

It knows no bounds.

It has no end.

It is us, and not us.

We are burned by its fires from within.

Burned but not cleansed. Nothing is accomplished, no one gains, no one wins. It burns all, produces nothing, is spent and we are scarred by its coming and going just like the others are, but we are still here while the others usually are not.

They were burned too and left.

Relationships, the good ones, suffer from it. Family and friends suffer. Sometimes the law is involved and we are drowned in a system that cannot help stop it. This system is the cause for some, the end for others.

The RAGE is seemingly demonic. It will eat you, your loved ones, society.

Terrorists living in perpetual RAGE, cause untold pain to decent societies.

Many criminals live in fluctuating RAGE that consumes much of their lives but is not theirs by choice or design.

Insane folks like me live in the same fluctuating RAGE that we barely keep in check when it hits IF, IF, IF we are lucky and live alone, separated from others specifically TO give the others freedom from the RAGE.

We break things in the RAGE. We break others, damage most, piss on what is good in our lives and WHILE IN THE RAGE, don't give a shit.

None of us want it.

No one deserves it.

Its part of many of us; we try to ignore it and it EATS US ALIVE.

We turn to a wide variety of drugs for relief. NONE help or stop the RAGE. None CAN stop the rage.

Alcohol, one of the scourges of mankind, is a two way sword. For some, it stops everything, even the RAGE, but at the cost of our livers, kidneys, lives, "souls". For some, booze makes the RAGE worse, is part of the cause. Its dangerous to palliate with this legal liquid, yet none of the prescriptions do more.

HEY, FUCK YOU IF YOU ARE SO STUPID TO IGNORE THIS, BELIEVE DIFFERENTLY, CALL IT A CHOICE. YOU are the ones who are going to get hurt IF you encounter someone in the middle of the RAGE and you better the fuck well HOPE they have found a way TO palliate whether its fucking crack, alcohol, heroin, pot etc.

Further, the fucking morons who KEEP drugs illegal, you are the ones I am chatting with in this. Legalize all of the drugs, monitor the results like which of them calm the RAGE, then change your inane laws.

Start with pot. Does a single one of you religious fanatics who keep the laws so restrictive KNOW a pot user who has committed a violent crime while in the RAGE?

OK, enough said? Add your own notes if you like.

Don't Throw Your Family Away if they are Damaged, Different or Drugged

Don't Throw Your Family Away if they are Damaged, Different or Drugged
by
Robin Hall, with IT and an Addiction


To refresh, IT as I use the word, is some health/biological or physical problem, YOURS. If you read my blog, just substitute your IT for my IT which is the depression syndrome: major depression, OCD and physiological anxiety.

So many families find it more convenient to ignore their own members than to deal with them. For those of us with IT, how many family members really even try?

Sure, some throw a few buck$ at the problem then, satisfied THEY did all they could, continue to ignore. Isn't that cute behavior? Smug rat fuckers need a smack down.

This is not to say anyone SHOULD try to be damaged or addicted etc. to understand, but rather that love, sympathy and empathy can be invoked and in some way the family stays together.

And for the others in the family, DO NOT "tolerate" your damaged or different family member. WTF is that, tolerating?

IF the phrase, Blood is thicker than water, has value NEVER "tolerate" a damaged, different or addicted family member. This is your family and part of being in a family IS or should be love, empathy and sympathy and isn't that a part of what a family needs and so rarely has?

No one wants to be tolerated. We want and deserve love, otherwise the notion of a family is a sham, a lie.

Maybe one day you will be damaged or old or different. Do you really want the family to treat you as you so willingly treated them when you were so haughty? Wouldn't that be a pretty picture? I see it developing even now.

This sounds like, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. A golden rule in fact.

Add love. Do lovingly unto others as you would have them lovingly do unto you as families are supposed to if they are first conceived, well you have a gold and platinum rule for families.

Now think about YOUR family. Any so-called black sheep? Damaged, ill or different members?

Maybe they are only outsiders because they were forgotten or ignored by YOU. Maybe you need to look a little deeper into the mirror of life and collect the family regularly, help it heal and remember what it means to BE a group worthy to call itself a decent family.

Don't "Test" Yourself If You Are An Addict

Don't "Test" Yourself If You Are An Addict
by
Robin Hall, an alcohol addict


Most of us addicts probably do this sort of thing, try this bullshit. We are in remission / recovering / going to meetings etc. Smokers; alcoholics; heroin addicts; food addicts; pill addicts etc. The meetings are SA; AA; NA; FA or whateverthefuck12stepprogram.

We lie to ourselves or are just dumber than we ever thought was possible. "Well, I am over this shit and to PROVE it, I will have a hit or two," and a week later we know we lied to ourselves. We are hanging over the toilet with mucus dripping out of our nose and mouth almost choking to death. Maybe we peed on ourselves or worse. HEY we tried but now we are fucking alcoholics again and that simple experiment was certainly worth it, eh?

Duh, NOFUCKINGWAY.

Don't test yourself if you are an addict. Tests lie and you are not a good judge of character are you?

Go to the meetings if they help.

Stay away from YOUR drug of choice for the rest of your life.

Believe this particular addict, me, in this one thing: Don't test yourself if you are an addict. I have done the testing. Shit, I have an MA in Community College Teaching so I SHOULD know a bit about testing and I do.

Guess what? I have failed several testings of two drugs. Tobacco has kicked my ass 3 times. I am walking the line for it just now.

Alcohol has continued to kick my ass and the Dean of the Department of Alcohol FUCKING FAILS ME regularly if I take that particular test.

I take it, the Dean kicks my ass, fails me and I am gone till I have been in some hospital or other and am stupid enough to take the test again. And I am that stupid.

Take a fucking hint, NEVER ever do this sort of test. NEVER. NEVER. Trust me once in your life, NEVER test yourself in this.

Later, maybe some other things I suggest might seem useful or interesting but in this one thing, NEVER test yourself.

Three Strikes and Everyone Loses, Plus the Death Penalty

Three Strikes and Everyone Loses, Plus the Death Penalty
by
Robin Hall


Now before this moronic legal maneuver got popular, was there a SINGLE test to see IF it worked? Lots of studies suggest states with the death penalty don't have lower crime rates for instance.

How about the 3 strikes and you are fucked rule? Do states with this pathetic excuse to lock people up with not enough proof for the extended sentences actually have lower crime rates?

Worse, what about the stats on that DEADLY third strike? Are there stats that PROVE the third strike crime is of lower magnitude or is it of greater magnitude, all things considered?

Say you are robbing a liquor store, your third strike if you are caught. What's worse, killing everyone involved so no ID is possible or trying to run away and hope no one recognized you? DUH.

Well, this should be enough for three strikes to end AND it should be food for thought for that stupid death penalty. NO FUCKING PERSON GAINS when there is a death penalty.

The taxpayer is going to lose, check the stats. The cost of PROVING a crime to the level of the death penalty is more than anyone wants to discuss. THEN keeping someone on death row is a tax burden very few know about and the number of years this goes on and on and on... Do the fucking math.

States with the death penalty don't have less crime, check the stats. No one gains. Everyone loses. How is this good for business or the taxpayer. Yes, George and Georgette, that is you and me.

Lets drop stupid MANDATORY laws in at least one state, revamp the system, make it tax efficient and let that serve us for a while. Keep statistics. See what happens. If someone wins, do it in the rest of the states.

Where IS Up and Where Does Smoke Go?

Where IS Up and Where Does Smoke Go?
by
Robin Hall


Isn't this a silly topic? NOT silly? So, just where IS up? If one looks up, its there unless one is upside down then one knows up IS down or one misses the point and up is still up. Oooh. Tricky. Worse, what if one is upside down and the real up is still down? That sort of thing.

Things change all the time. I have spent the last week not smoking. I am not sure of the benefits. Its confusing. I like smoking but not the coughing in the middle of my sleep period which wakes me nightly.

Hmm. Time will tell about this addiction. I stopped smoking for 30+ years. I started again with one companion who smoked and I wanted in, if you catch my drift and her panties IS the right answer.

I quit after entering and leaving and but she had very nice panties if you catch the drift.

So those years passed and depression hit and I smoked four months while I was sober and this is what happened, I am trying to quit again.

Anyway.

Smoking is a very hard addiction to delete and I may start again. Its not quite as bad for me as alcohol but close and there are no panties in this version of being drunk. Well, likely there won't be more panties in my future, I am old.