Real Memories 1

Real Memories 1: Early drinking problem and psyc wards.
by
Robin Hall


The day I graduated from college I put wine and Rice Crispies in the blender for breakfast. I don't recall the rest of that glorious day. I got my degree, my diploma. I woke up another day. That was Dec. 1974 or maybe it was August.

I was married. We drove to FL to work with John Costaine McCamy in Human Life styling. That lasted a month.

I got a teaching assistant ship to a school in Omaha. I went. Three months after arriving I tried to electrocute myself and spent 2 months at Nebraska Psychiatric Institute. It was pretty good except they gave me anti psychotics instead of anti depressants.

One day they gave me prolixin. The next day I was literally walking in circles. It seemed my left foot was nailed to the floor. They gave me something to relieve this.

My wife left me for another woman just before I went into the hospital. She stole my car, my records. She did not give the cats away, tend to them. I got back to the house a month later, I had two one-month admittances, the poor cats were roaming around the house hungry, thirsty etc. They had peed everywhere.

I got my MA from Florida State University, August 1982. I had spent the week previous to finals in the local mental hospital. Florida had some deal where you got out in a week, no there was a 4 day hold. Maybe that was it. Maybe it was two weeks.

The day after I got my MA I drove up to Atlanta and headed immediately back to FL. I lived with my grandma for several years, taught 24 sections of speech in the local Community College, worked at Florida State Prison for a month.

I took 1800 Mg. of lithium a day for 2 years, some tricyclics in addition, for half that time. I slept a LOT. I only missed two classes in 3 years at PBJC. I don't recall a single student's name. I recall one face.

Real memories, for me, are often that I didn't recall any memories from some time or other. Long fugue states seem to have happened. Most of my life is a fugue.

Borked

Borked
by
Robin Hall and Others


Borked is not a word, nor is doh. Yet, when I updated / pinged my blogs at Technorati both were used to tell me their site was down.

I actually understood each word at a different level which essentially was: "Oops our site is fucked," or with yet other words, "We are sorry for the inconvenience, our site is not working right now."

I liked their version but can you feature any English speaking person ANYWHERE in the world, however fluent but without the Internet to check current word usage, understanding this slang? Still its fun.

Wouldn't it be neat to have a comedy show, say Get Your Freak On, International, where top comics from anywhere who were totally fluent in English, vie for the ca$h as TOP Freakin' International Comic? I would watch it.

Imagine Scots, Americans, Irish, English, South Africans, New Zealanders, Canadians, Australians, real Indians and whoever the fuck else was fluent / had nailed our HUGE language, with whatever accent, ALL competing and what fun we could have checking out who would be the top freaking English speaking comic in the whole world?

There could local tryouts in virtually any country in the world for half hour shows. Regionals etc. There could be videos sold for the top comics in each venue.

In the end ONE person would actually BE the funniest person ANY English speaking human in the world. This person would have simply shattered the funny bones of more humans than anyone in HISTORY, other than some of the politicians...

6 to 9

6 to 9
by
Robin Hall


Every da is dayja vu,
Every night's a nightmare 2.
Sittin' here doing 6 to 9,
All I got is lots of time.

Others here they doing life,
Outta the cell, lotsa strife.
Stayin inside, goin outta my mind
Go outside, you in the grind.

You got no friends when you inside.
Everyone wants to have a ride.
Read all day, cry all night
Guys and gals, you best learn how to fight.

What to Watch on TV

What to Watch on TV
by
Robin Hall


Ultimate Fighter OR Giada in Paradise were my choices on the last VCR tape. I rarely choose, just watch.

UF was silly. I wrote SpikeTV and suggested they take the gloves off, open the fights to everyone and see if their ratings improved. No answer.

Giada is a Food Network cook with 4 star "C" cup cleavage. I opted for her show.

DRAT. I cannot even watch the show for the cleavage. Its like a cobra and the waving of the pipe by a snake charmer. OK, for me, more like a small grass snake and a snack, but still.

I have 148 more tapes to choose from.

Confusion reigns. I am drenched. Its 4:15 AM. Drunk as usual.

Blood, Water and Truth

Blood, Water and Truth
by
Robin Hall


This one is short.

Blood ties: paternity, maternity, sorority, fraternity. Its my experience that all these so-called blood-ties are simply bull shit, per se, and NOT thicker than water. NO ONE chooses family AND family often UN-chooses its own members.

Sometimes we find our true family, or begin one. I am guessing mostly we are neither born into our ONE true family nor do we find our own. I am guessing we spend much of our lives TRYING to find our family, trying to find our own true family or some ONE/S.

Ask yourself this current question. How is that going for you? Answer. Look into the fucking mirror of your life and ANSWER, for once in your life ANSWER, truthfully.

Are you with who you want to be with or are you not?

Waging Beauty & Wonder

Waging Beauty & Wonder
by
Robin Hall, and a friend


Maybe we make up even this notion, a transcendental experience. What if children were allowed to develop completely apart from gods, religions and Jung? Would this sort of experience not then fall to them as well BUT they would have knowledge to integrate it?

As they are growing they are introduced to all the best the world offers from, say, 4 languages to be fluent in, to maths, musics, all the arts and not just in viewing, but participating, creating.

Then as time passes, the children are introduced to the past and to the present.

They are introduced to the range of human behaviors and emotions, shown that what they are learning is completely unique and they will be forever unable to discuss their background with OTHERS but they will be introduced to the skills needed to interact with virtually any others.

They learn many games of chance, sports, a serious martial art like tai chi from early youth. Acting as well so they can hide what they know from anyone.

They learn to survive on their own in any situation over time.

Then what would they be? New humans with a different chance in the world at large. Maybe they would have a chance to change the world, maybe to make it through any disaster we might face.

Stories might be written about them or they might go un-noticed ever and just wage BEAUTY and WONDER within society.

Maybe its already happening in ways that don't seem like beauty and wonder. Maybe the carpenter down the street, working 10 hour days to feed his family AND make nice houses is part of the beauty. Maybe the janitor working for his or her family is the wonder.

Plain folks doing the right thing, taking care of business. There may be hope for us yet.

Bestiality, Its Not New

Bestiality, Its Not New
by
Robin Hall


For the most part, I think bestiality is wrong. This is not some silly religionist view or moral issue.

Humans need some standards and this should be one. Don't fuck animals. Its almost always rape. Period. Especially when its a man and animal.

Sometimes an animal might have fun with a woman, sometimes but NO human could ever know, EVER.

Now the Internet lets us view humans communing with animals. I checked out pictures at one point in my life.

One was actually funny. It was a woman being fucked by a VERY large dog from behind.

Dog and woman were going at it, seemed to be having fun AND both were looking to their right into the camera's lens. Neither were embarrassed. We all need to ponder such behavior.

I hesitate to mention this but there was another instance that seemed OK. A VERY sick looking woman was having it off with a dog. Likely her illness was terminal AND contagious.

I am sure there is little research here but IF she was a decent person, had determined the dog would not be harmed by the human / dog illness, well, why not? This congress would be better than infecting a human and IF each had fun, again, why not?

Is this more than we should be chatting about?

Incest 4 U

Incest 4 U
by
Robin Hall


Incest is another human problem.

This never seemed troubling to me until I realized most of it was forced rather than explored naturally or even more, simply part of the life of any family where sex was there from an early age and ones participation was chosen by each person on their own terms in their own time and ONLY IF it is interesting. In many families it would not be.

I read an interesting sci-fi story that explored this and it seemed very natural.

I expect a fatwah at any moment.

Hey, blogging is hard work and honesty is needed.

I recall my younger days. I lived in a small town. Two blocks away was a family and even 50 years ago, there were suggestions of brother and sister being intimate. It seemed shocking but why? If you cannot love your family, who CAN you love?

Cannibalism and Suicide 101

Cannibalism and Suicide 101
by
Robin Hall


Read the blurb for this flick, Delicatessen (1991) . Just google the movie and click the link with IMDB, the Internet Movie Data Base.

Oh so many years ago there was an Alfred Hitchcock offering on TV about the same subject. There was a REALLY exclusive dining club and the entrée could be a you...

Now this is not a suitable topic but for some reason its come to mind recently. A Modest Proposal http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html is my earliest recollection of Cannibalism and schools did not ban this reading.

Cannibalism has many benefits like lowering the population AND feeding the rest of us. Nicely prepared muscle cuts could be served to most anyone. I would refuse brain dishes. Human chittlins / chitterlings is not going to happen for me but many problems could be solved: Suicide by butcher knives would help many a person leave their own intolerable life for instance and I suspect many people would opt for this.

Dr. Kevorkian actually improved the quality of life in my view. When our quality of life is lower than what we want, suicide seems logical.

Suicide by dining experience is one way to make our lives count.

Another great suicide value is a full medical harvest of everything that is us. Lots benefit and isn't that a fine way to leave the world?

Even for folks who felt their life was worthless, going out as a full harvest or suicide by feeding others, well you finally have a fully useful life.

Of course the men who designed some religion or other have these as some of their main strictures but folks need to think for themselves in this and all things. Removing religionists from office on all levels will go far in helping USA citizens to really live the free life they are promised.

Religionists have always made this sort of promise and never delivered. They never tried to UNLESS one believed in their particular higher being / god etc.

Its a false promise they give and is based on MEN making the rules so SOME people could advance at the cost of others NOT advancing. ALL religious promises are based on this. We need a change or these religionists will finally have their way.

The problem here is that each brand of religion has a view to promote and these views are very often at odds. NO current grouping of religionists, getting their way, would allow the world to survive.

Think about this.

Still, religionists should be counting their days and are not. I want to live long enough to see them in fast retreat due to the pain they cause the world with these ridiculous MALE-made fantasies of some brand of god or other who is all seeing, all knowing BUT go across the street to another brand of religion and the goals could be to kill others who believe differently and aren't we all at risk FROM religions?

Remember Soylent Green? This is not an original thought, dining on ourselves.

Humans DO have problem areas and eating cousin Sam or the like is one of them. Maybe its time for a change.

End of rant.

Progress? Corporate Greed 1

Progress? Corporate Greed 1
by
Robin Hall


Take NiMH batteries for instance, please. Daily I use rechargeables, have for two decades, in flashlights, timers and mostly remotes.

I have used the same remotes through the change from NiCad to NiMH and my view is the newer NiMH last about 1/4th as long as the older technology. Imagine. Progress at its best, for BIG business.

Surprise. Consumers get fucked when big business MANDATES a paradigm change and guess what, the product is worse than what it replaces.

Its even worse than this. I have two devices that simply won't take the newer NiMHs. No, the newer, better batteries are slightly too large. I wonder if this is a mistake?

Duh. NO. Another chance to fuck the consumer. Not only do the newer batteries NOT last as long per charge, they don't even fit some older primary products, making the buying of a new primary device a must.

Isn't big business just too much fun? Wouldn't you like to be bigger than big business and TRASH them when they do this sort of thing?

I am guessing the cost of that good a lawyer would be more than simply going along when big businesses REQUIRE us to, but wouldn't it be nice to be able to afford that good a lawyer and sue the fuck out of big businesses aimed at greed, not at helping us live better lives?

Dragonfly Ballet

Dragonfly Ballet
by
Robin Hall

Butterfly Ballet sounded like a nice title too but what I saw was dragonflies. I was taking my daily walk and was on the way home, when I saw this marvel. I saw it before I imagine but missed it completely.

There is a small park downtown with running water pools. The dragonflies were in the grassy area near the pools but not in the next grassy section. They stayed within the boundaries of the sidewalks, an area not 400 square feet.

I don't see quickly enough perhaps and a high speed camera would help but it certainly looked like a ballet to me. A group of 6 seemed to stay together much of the time while others soared out towards the boundaries, the sidewalks, only sometimes actually going over them. The outriders would then fly back to the group and sail round and round.

I was "in a hurry", on my walk, taking my exercise and didn't stay for this aerial ballet but I knew I should have stayed. Why are we so busy that we miss what we are really looking for, beauty?

You could pay lots of money, dress up, sit in a fine theatre and not see anything so wonderful, yet I passed up my chance for observing natural splendor just to finish my exercise. I knew I would write about it, try to remember all the moves I did see but that is not the same is it?

When is the "right time" for beauty? When do we slow ourselves and have what we want rather than feeling lonely and left out? I think I let myself down today, lost an opportunity.

Yet, there are other beautiful things out there. Beauty on beauty awaits us if we take time to notice. Will I stop and watch the ballet next time? Will you join me? We shall see...

Culture, Counterculture, Society

Culture, Counterculture, Society
by
Robin Hall


This note is mostly a set of questions. So many questions, so small a brain. : ^(

I looked the words up and there are problems so the following will definitely reflect some of these problems. I use several fine dictionaries OFTEN. Yet, the interactions of words is not as simple as many think.

Most just don't think and serious problems happen in the name of righteousness, self sanctification, familiarity or fear of the future and the real world, of others.

The main question is this: what sort of stresses, per se, does trying to live in more than one culture at a time produce? Each culture and or society [ Please look these words up no matter how smart you are. Use 1-Click Answers , google, a dictionary or the like but do look up the words, they are trickier than I thought to pin down. ] has its own stresses for most folks IN the culture.

Few cultures are simple and uniform.

Historical cultures were not as simple as we thought.

Most cultures today have external cultures coming into their culture and upsetting or challenging the culture and at such a fast pace that conflict is inevitable.

Change today is rapid often rabid.

People in rapid flux often depend on previous cultural influences that fail the standards of today. Tragedy is inevitable.

Religions of the past clash with their own present day version/s AND the values of present day society.

Essentially or an example. Say you live in a muslim society / culture. Some of the world despises the way your women are "treated." Most of the world won't tolerate your extremists mandating, "Convert or we will kill you."

You live in a time of so many different cultural influences that confusion reigns and rains and reins.

What to do? Some will embrace the new. Many of these will suffer or have to migrate and start over.

Some will not embrace the new and will break off. Some of these will become very radical, some moderate.

All are confused but is the best way to deal with other cultures to kill them? Pervert your children into believing the very oldest parts of YOUR culture is the ONLY way to live in the modern world? Build so called schools, madrassas that teach NOTHING but your koran, your bible, holy book AS INTERPRETED BY SCARED MEN, oops, should the letters be interchanged? for you; and also teach a level of hate toward others unheard of in the world today?

I think not.

Getting back to the main question. Well, that is what I tried to do.

The stresses of modern changing cultures, the intense pressures of integrating into a real world that you don't care for, well a proper response is not to kill folks who don't embrace the older versions of your culture or modern versions either.

Simply not falling for YOUR version of the world should not place anyone at risk. Sure, do as you wish but when you wish to kill me in this. If I don't believe YOU, hey, lock and load motherfucker. I NEVER did anything to you. YOU did this. Lock and load and understand that in America, WE can own arms. Drat. I just spoke out for the NRA. Well, I could have been wrong but Charlton Heston was never MY president and you NRA members should check your bumper stickers for this.

Our Constitution did not state the NRA's president was the country's president and you are under the microscope for this ridiculous bumper sticker and NO one of your cohorts will admit to being wrong or criticizing any NRA member and something stinks and your rhetoric is HURTING the USA in this.

Some folks today just ignore culture and try to live like previous generations did, but peacefully. No one suffers in this social experiment.

Some adapt to the new influences and their past is diluted or forgotten.

Some flourish in the changes, BUT, many cultural / human aspects of life get set aside or worse.

Life IS changing and always has. The range of reality is broader than we, personally, might wish, but its going on. We cannot kill others who don't believe as we do.

The range of what makes us human is greater than we might wish to understand and includes more than these items:

-Culture

-Society

-Biology

-Emotion

-Intelligence and intellection / thinking. Hmm. Thinking does not require much intelligence and many forget this.

-Spiritual leanings. Well this is troubling since many have NO such leanings and are often criticized, killed or worse by those who do. Another problem is others with different spiritual leanings. They, too, are often criticized, killed or worse by those who have one belief.

-Greed. How many wars, bombings, murders and the myriad of human tragedies haven't have been caused, at least in great part, by greed of the wealthy and those wishing for more than they earned?

-The ability to completely misunderstand others due to language, social and cultural differences and hasn't this been a problem over the eons?

Yeow.

Now with all these problems. Is there anything that can be done to lessen the problems of cultural and social differences, the changing times, etc.?

I have no answers. I have suggestions. Maybe you do. That's too easy isn't it? We all think about the future and try to do better.

Now add all of society's or culture's "others." People in their own country, culture, society who don't fit average society in one way or other:

-gays / lesbians are in all societies. They don't call for the destruction of society yet they "challenge" some status quo or other AND are still in danger in most parts of the world. Wouldn't love and acceptance help here when some societies, cultures say NO to their own members?

-people who are damaged. What to do with them? Love and respect them or try to ignore or hurt them? Look within. You might be next.

-people who are different, and this includes artists, recluses and more varieties of humans than anyone wants to feature and what to do with them? Love and respect them or try to ignore or hurt them?

Well, more than a few questions. No answers or solutions here other than embrace differences, add love and advance into the facts of the future the best you can without killing others.

No fatwas required.

The Basis of Religion: Magic, Control, Ritual and Comfort

The Basis of Religion: Magic, Control, Ritual and Comfort
by
Robin Hall


I was just thinking I really want to see magic. Not illusion. Magic.

My brain wrangled with that a bit and I came up with this note.

Its my view that religion is completely fabricated, usually by men, not women, and that it is based on these 4 things: Magic, Control, Ritual and Comfort. We want these four things to explain life and help us live it.

1. Magic. Two simple examples: the popularity of magic shows throughout the ages and today, Transcendental Meditation, TM. In the mid to late 1970s Maharishi began to promote the siddhis, the eight occult yogic powers, though he seemed to focus on levitation but google siddhis and you can read all you want.

He might have been coerced into this. Osho®, aka Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, had his Sheela, so who really knows? Getting laid is a powerful form of almost magic and maybe its the closest we ever get.

Anyway, I think we want magic for some reason and many people exploit this, especially the religious.

The Prestige film has a good explanation of the three parts of illusions or "magic." The setup, the turn in which an ordinary object does something extraordinary, such as disappear and the prestige when the ordinary object is restored through extraordinary means.

What does this mean for us? We WANT the prestige to be real to be magic. We really want there to be things we cannot explain at our level of development and magic fills the bill but its mostly illusion so don't take the bait.

And how many of you EVER saw one of the siddhis? There was supposed to be one, walking through walls. Yes, that one.

One TM instructor STATED that their center at Lake Lucerne had skylights that opened so the Siddhas could levitate over Lake Lucerne. Hmm. Show me that one too.

2. Control. Many want to control others AND many others want give up some parts of themselves to others, like a vacation from responsibility, hence the popularity of in the catholic church for confession, forgiveness and the like, so control is important in these manmade religions.

Don't forget sadism and masochism either. Some want to control, some want to give up control but in doing so, actually control others. YIKES, isn't that complicated?

3. Ritual. I have written about this before. Just read that, but more importantly, think for yourself about all of this.

There is a very powerful longing to be connected to others in an ongoing way. Rituals become important, then twisted and "sanctified", then perverted and we are left today with football, churches and The Survivor.

4. Comfort. We like to be comfortable. Its often comforting to visit a church, sing songs, listen to someone else tell us how to live, eat ice cream with other believers, have picnics with them and get revived from time to time in a tent.

I would rather have a nice reclining chair, turn up the AC in summer and have beer. That is comfort too. There is karaoke for the singing part even in a small town. I can watch the news, shopping or travel channels to find someone to tell me how to live. I don't own a tent but I can visit them at WalMart.

Picnics and icecream? In the South, these are no-brainers.

I think a religious experience is just around the corner.

Isn't this fun?

And another part of this religious bull shit. Ask yourself one question. There are many TO ask but just this one should do.

IF there is such a thing as an over being, a god, many gods etc., and forget ALL your counters to this question for once in your life, that is free will and whatever else comes to mind. Just ask this one question of YOURSELF. How can you pray for forgiveness, justice etc. from some over being which allows child abuse?

The range of this abuse is immense. Children in madrassas grow up and become suicide bombers. Children molested sexually who grow up and molest.

Just this one question. How can some all powerful being allow child abuse? How do you expect YOUR prayers to be answered?

Accept and Love Your Friends and Family

Accept and Love Your Friends and Family
by
Robin Hall


Many of us have IT; and here that means any illness, mine is the entire depression syndrome and alcoholism. Yours could be ___.

Many of us have other things going on or are different from society's average, norm.

We might be addicted to ??? alcohol, various drugs, various...

Maybe we are creative and this gets in the way of acceptance. We are different, we are the same people even so.

Maybe we are gay or lesbian. Hardly personal preferences, just us as we really are. We are the same person BEFORE you knew and we are the same AFTER you found out. We are different and who gets to pick who they love? We are the same.

Maybe we are tall.

Maybe we are short, really short, a little person. Different, but the same. Do we not think as others, behave, love?

A muslim? A christian? A jew?

Shakespeare was telling us about acceptance when he wrote, in The Merchant of Venice, "I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?"

Just put your family member's or friend's OTHERNESS in place of jew. ARE we that different? Doesn't acceptance and love of our favorite people begin the way we define OUR core self?

If you accept and love us us do you not gain? If you do not accept and love your own family, your own friends for some "reason," who is to blame but YOU?

Seek within. Look in the mirror of life that you know this is about and judge yourself. Then realize we ARE you and if that mirror cracks, its not US that cracked it.

The RAGE

The RAGE
by
Robin Hall, aka Fucked

When the RAGE comes, what do YOU do?

Now I don't care about what you do anymore than you care what I do of course.

The RAGE is more than care, beyond words, "sharing," love, choice, wishes, intent.

Its more than we are capable of handling. Its more than anyone can tolerate, "deal with" or other horse shit.

The RAGE consumes us, friends, family, others.

It knows no bounds.

It has no end.

It is us, and not us.

We are burned by its fires from within.

Burned but not cleansed. Nothing is accomplished, no one gains, no one wins. It burns all, produces nothing, is spent and we are scarred by its coming and going just like the others are, but we are still here while the others usually are not.

They were burned too and left.

Relationships, the good ones, suffer from it. Family and friends suffer. Sometimes the law is involved and we are drowned in a system that cannot help stop it. This system is the cause for some, the end for others.

The RAGE is seemingly demonic. It will eat you, your loved ones, society.

Terrorists living in perpetual RAGE, cause untold pain to decent societies.

Many criminals live in fluctuating RAGE that consumes much of their lives but is not theirs by choice or design.

Insane folks like me live in the same fluctuating RAGE that we barely keep in check when it hits IF, IF, IF we are lucky and live alone, separated from others specifically TO give the others freedom from the RAGE.

We break things in the RAGE. We break others, damage most, piss on what is good in our lives and WHILE IN THE RAGE, don't give a shit.

None of us want it.

No one deserves it.

Its part of many of us; we try to ignore it and it EATS US ALIVE.

We turn to a wide variety of drugs for relief. NONE help or stop the RAGE. None CAN stop the rage.

Alcohol, one of the scourges of mankind, is a two way sword. For some, it stops everything, even the RAGE, but at the cost of our livers, kidneys, lives, "souls". For some, booze makes the RAGE worse, is part of the cause. Its dangerous to palliate with this legal liquid, yet none of the prescriptions do more.

HEY, FUCK YOU IF YOU ARE SO STUPID TO IGNORE THIS, BELIEVE DIFFERENTLY, CALL IT A CHOICE. YOU are the ones who are going to get hurt IF you encounter someone in the middle of the RAGE and you better the fuck well HOPE they have found a way TO palliate whether its fucking crack, alcohol, heroin, pot etc.

Further, the fucking morons who KEEP drugs illegal, you are the ones I am chatting with in this. Legalize all of the drugs, monitor the results like which of them calm the RAGE, then change your inane laws.

Start with pot. Does a single one of you religious fanatics who keep the laws so restrictive KNOW a pot user who has committed a violent crime while in the RAGE?

OK, enough said? Add your own notes if you like.

Don't Throw Your Family Away if they are Damaged, Different or Drugged

Don't Throw Your Family Away if they are Damaged, Different or Drugged
by
Robin Hall, with IT and an Addiction


To refresh, IT as I use the word, is some health/biological or physical problem, YOURS. If you read my blog, just substitute your IT for my IT which is the depression syndrome: major depression, OCD and physiological anxiety.

So many families find it more convenient to ignore their own members than to deal with them. For those of us with IT, how many family members really even try?

Sure, some throw a few buck$ at the problem then, satisfied THEY did all they could, continue to ignore. Isn't that cute behavior? Smug rat fuckers need a smack down.

This is not to say anyone SHOULD try to be damaged or addicted etc. to understand, but rather that love, sympathy and empathy can be invoked and in some way the family stays together.

And for the others in the family, DO NOT "tolerate" your damaged or different family member. WTF is that, tolerating?

IF the phrase, Blood is thicker than water, has value NEVER "tolerate" a damaged, different or addicted family member. This is your family and part of being in a family IS or should be love, empathy and sympathy and isn't that a part of what a family needs and so rarely has?

No one wants to be tolerated. We want and deserve love, otherwise the notion of a family is a sham, a lie.

Maybe one day you will be damaged or old or different. Do you really want the family to treat you as you so willingly treated them when you were so haughty? Wouldn't that be a pretty picture? I see it developing even now.

This sounds like, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. A golden rule in fact.

Add love. Do lovingly unto others as you would have them lovingly do unto you as families are supposed to if they are first conceived, well you have a gold and platinum rule for families.

Now think about YOUR family. Any so-called black sheep? Damaged, ill or different members?

Maybe they are only outsiders because they were forgotten or ignored by YOU. Maybe you need to look a little deeper into the mirror of life and collect the family regularly, help it heal and remember what it means to BE a group worthy to call itself a decent family.

Don't "Test" Yourself If You Are An Addict

Don't "Test" Yourself If You Are An Addict
by
Robin Hall, an alcohol addict


Most of us addicts probably do this sort of thing, try this bullshit. We are in remission / recovering / going to meetings etc. Smokers; alcoholics; heroin addicts; food addicts; pill addicts etc. The meetings are SA; AA; NA; FA or whateverthefuck12stepprogram.

We lie to ourselves or are just dumber than we ever thought was possible. "Well, I am over this shit and to PROVE it, I will have a hit or two," and a week later we know we lied to ourselves. We are hanging over the toilet with mucus dripping out of our nose and mouth almost choking to death. Maybe we peed on ourselves or worse. HEY we tried but now we are fucking alcoholics again and that simple experiment was certainly worth it, eh?

Duh, NOFUCKINGWAY.

Don't test yourself if you are an addict. Tests lie and you are not a good judge of character are you?

Go to the meetings if they help.

Stay away from YOUR drug of choice for the rest of your life.

Believe this particular addict, me, in this one thing: Don't test yourself if you are an addict. I have done the testing. Shit, I have an MA in Community College Teaching so I SHOULD know a bit about testing and I do.

Guess what? I have failed several testings of two drugs. Tobacco has kicked my ass 3 times. I am walking the line for it just now.

Alcohol has continued to kick my ass and the Dean of the Department of Alcohol FUCKING FAILS ME regularly if I take that particular test.

I take it, the Dean kicks my ass, fails me and I am gone till I have been in some hospital or other and am stupid enough to take the test again. And I am that stupid.

Take a fucking hint, NEVER ever do this sort of test. NEVER. NEVER. Trust me once in your life, NEVER test yourself in this.

Later, maybe some other things I suggest might seem useful or interesting but in this one thing, NEVER test yourself.

Three Strikes and Everyone Loses, Plus the Death Penalty

Three Strikes and Everyone Loses, Plus the Death Penalty
by
Robin Hall


Now before this moronic legal maneuver got popular, was there a SINGLE test to see IF it worked? Lots of studies suggest states with the death penalty don't have lower crime rates for instance.

How about the 3 strikes and you are fucked rule? Do states with this pathetic excuse to lock people up with not enough proof for the extended sentences actually have lower crime rates?

Worse, what about the stats on that DEADLY third strike? Are there stats that PROVE the third strike crime is of lower magnitude or is it of greater magnitude, all things considered?

Say you are robbing a liquor store, your third strike if you are caught. What's worse, killing everyone involved so no ID is possible or trying to run away and hope no one recognized you? DUH.

Well, this should be enough for three strikes to end AND it should be food for thought for that stupid death penalty. NO FUCKING PERSON GAINS when there is a death penalty.

The taxpayer is going to lose, check the stats. The cost of PROVING a crime to the level of the death penalty is more than anyone wants to discuss. THEN keeping someone on death row is a tax burden very few know about and the number of years this goes on and on and on... Do the fucking math.

States with the death penalty don't have less crime, check the stats. No one gains. Everyone loses. How is this good for business or the taxpayer. Yes, George and Georgette, that is you and me.

Lets drop stupid MANDATORY laws in at least one state, revamp the system, make it tax efficient and let that serve us for a while. Keep statistics. See what happens. If someone wins, do it in the rest of the states.

Where IS Up and Where Does Smoke Go?

Where IS Up and Where Does Smoke Go?
by
Robin Hall


Isn't this a silly topic? NOT silly? So, just where IS up? If one looks up, its there unless one is upside down then one knows up IS down or one misses the point and up is still up. Oooh. Tricky. Worse, what if one is upside down and the real up is still down? That sort of thing.

Things change all the time. I have spent the last week not smoking. I am not sure of the benefits. Its confusing. I like smoking but not the coughing in the middle of my sleep period which wakes me nightly.

Hmm. Time will tell about this addiction. I stopped smoking for 30+ years. I started again with one companion who smoked and I wanted in, if you catch my drift and her panties IS the right answer.

I quit after entering and leaving and but she had very nice panties if you catch the drift.

So those years passed and depression hit and I smoked four months while I was sober and this is what happened, I am trying to quit again.

Anyway.

Smoking is a very hard addiction to delete and I may start again. Its not quite as bad for me as alcohol but close and there are no panties in this version of being drunk. Well, likely there won't be more panties in my future, I am old.

No Insurance

No Insurance
by
Robin Hall


For none of my adult life have I had insurance. Imagine living 42 years with a deadly illness, major depression syndrome for me, my IT, OCD and physiological anxiety AND not having insurance. That works out to: NO decent hospital ever. No doctor up to the task or one even trying to help. No place to stay that had a social worker.

That works out to a life alone because there was simply no help EVER that mattered. Sure, I got in to free clinics and had 23 hospitalizations but NOT a single one that was decent let alone good. That includes 4 state hospitals and you really don't want to be in one of them.

Then there were over 35 so-called doctors cum psychiatrists many of whom STATED they had just the thing for me whether it was the very latest drug or long term analysis which disappeared immediately when some sham of a doctor found out I had no insurance.

An interesting thing happened on the next visit to that particular so-called healer, doctor, scam artist. He had STATED in the first visit he could help me, about how many treatments a week it would take and suggested several years of analysis but the next visit, when he had found out I had no insurance, he did a 360 degree turn, yes, that's two 180s, and all of a sudden, there simply was NO treatment since I was not ill at all and my "sad sack" lifestyle was the only thing that needed mending and he wasn't going to treat me. Hmm. I smell a rat/fucker. That was in Buffalo, the fellow was asian. Beware.

With NO insurance what is one to do? Whatever your illness, no insurance means, here in the USA, low rent, IF ANY, treatment. Even going to the emergency room when you need a few stitches is not possible. A cough turns into the flu and you still have no treatment.

A torn meniscus takes almost a year to find someone who will tend to it.

No meds for anything without risking jail for unpaid bills when the deductible part comes calling.

Etc.

Well, that is only part of a life. I didn't mention being so poor that one month I bought 50 pound sacks of oats and wheat bran from the feed store so I could eat. No, and more, or less. Poverty does not pay.

Damn IT

Damn IT
by
Robin Hall


The hurricane, the tornado of IT is upon me. The drugs don't work. In some parts of the day the alcohol does let me forget, but damn IT.

My IT is depression, your IT might be schizophrenia, cancer or a recent car wreck. The days when all you can do is try to stay sane.

With depression, my IT, whatever I do is wrong. Every emotion I have flies by faster than I can observe. I laugh, cry, scream in pain and the rage is upon me. I sit just inside the eye of the hurricane all but pulled apart and too dizzy to grab a single emotion. I don't know where I am, what time it is. If there are several personalities here, well, we are more confused than usual.

Only once or twice a month are we hit by these hurricanes. We forget within a day or two. Get hit again. Wish the brain had its own weather channel and our "life WAS on video tape," and our remote had new batteries. Maybe its enough to have an extra case of vodka. We just don't know do we?

Several notes

I don't think I actually said I was sane. Several notes not written at the best of times.

The Trouble Today
by
Robin Hall


I wonder if this should be called the Trouble Today vs. The Trouble Tomorrow or The Trouble Yesterday. Well, who cairz?

So, todayz topic is trouble? I am watching a movie. Its pretty good, I usually like Robin Williams. Night Listener was good, he was MUCH more than good, as usual. There was trouble in the film.

Drat. I see that today's topic is not just trouble. Its movies, TV: entertainment. Perhaps more accurately, its about how I experience trouble and most other vagaries of human thought and emotion through movies... Most of the time I feel I am just a voyeur in life.

Later today I watched another flick that is excellent by any measure, Proof. Its in the same vein as A Beautiful Mind, another fine math themed flick. I liked Proof better. There was trouble in this film too. Maybe the topic IS trouble.

Well, that's the sort of day I have: I HOPE to view a good movie or find a terrific new TV show so I have some human interaction sort of thing going on even though its me watching others have interactions on the screen. Its not much of a life but its the one I live.

You wouldn't want this life. It would be trouble.


I Quitsmokingagain.com & Just say no.
by
Robin Hall

Hi, I'm Robin and I am a smoker. Hi, Robin. Etc.

Why do we have to go to all these meetings? Why are so many REALLY dangerous drugs so addictive AND so legal: alcohol, tobacco, caffeine and sugar, bad fats etc.? And don't think these are the only ones folks get to used to.

The OTC painkillers are currently under review and EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THEM, for trashing our livers, kidneys, hearts, eyes. We are being killed by the painkillers AND the LEGAL drugs AND certain foods and somehow this is being missed or ignored and we are being killed.

[ Sneaking in the other item here, just say no. DAMN. It would likely work in retrospect but how many of us live in retrospect? Its like having 20/20 hindsight on tomorrow. ]

Well, I am going to try to stay shut of tobacco and I am going, once again, to try to get rid of alcohol and its a toss up for either. Luckily I don't use OTC painkillers since alcohol kills pain but when I don't drink, the pain returns and I return to the OTCs. Shit or some other expletive.

I can live without much caffeine but I do nod off more. So its me against tobacco. Its me against alcohol. No one is on my side, or yours, if its you against these. We must find a way to tunnel through these addictions. We must live with the pains so the OTC painkillers don't kill us. We must and can we? These are the daily questions and so far I have no answer that works and likely won't and even if I do, its for me but each of us MUST find a path to sobriety IF there is one and few of us DO find that path. The stats are very bad. Very.

Now in these cases, addictions, whoever first said, "Just say no," was doing us all a favor. NO first use of the drugs, NO addictions and I subscribe to this after much thought. Its a tautology in a sense yet a rock solid truth.

Later, IF we ignore this, chemistry WILL kick us in the ass and we are living in a world that is no longer ours.

OK, I am thinking that just say no, to sex is really silly, but to drugs its good. How many of us ARE thinking when drugs are first presented? Later, we are totally fucked and WISH we had said no and we didn't and now the suffering begins.

DRAT. I LIKE drugs now that I am addicted. I hate them too. They are expensive. They always hurt me. They are often fun. They are shit. I bet the drug companies KNOW this, encourage it: the addictions and profit.

Just say no. Hmm. Who knew how cool a statement this really was?



Check Your Shorts
by
Robin Hall


Ever have to check your shorts? Maybe you are getting older, getting OLD, and a fart is dangerous, sometimes fluid and you must check your shorts a LOT these days. Maybe its another cause than aging but real.

Once, at least, you failed in public, a full melt down, the one you feared for several decades and you poo your pants in public and regardless of how few folks saw this, YOU DID and you are forever changed by this one small human failing.

There are other failings in the future, human ones, embarrassing ones even if you are the only person to know. You pee in your pants or on your bed. That sort of thing. You fall over. You must give up your driver's license because you actually drove off the road when your sight had failed.

My grandma had this happen. She turned her license in and never drove again. Its is top notch human behavior. She did the right thing at the right time.

Well, there is much more to talk about. I hope you find something here that is useful.

Fuck Movie Critics

Fuck Movie Critics
by
Robin Hall


OK, don't really try to do this. Some might like it but its wrong.

No, I mean, watch your own movies. Sure there are some critics who's opinions or reviews might suggest a good flick. Mark these critics, watch the flicks. But there are fine flicks that most of them miss or trash when actually the flick might interest YOU.

[ Movie critics / reviewers / raters have four tasks that are of interest to me. I want these folks to:

1. Tell the truth. Oy, wouldn't that be nice. Some actually do tell the truth for them. "I really liked this film and here is why." I don't have to agree with them. All I want is that they tell their own truth. I can read their view and TRUST that they told the truth for them and I make up my own mind if I want to watch the film. I can HATE their view but if its the truth and consistent I know what I will likely do, rent the flick or not.

2. Observe the audience's reactions to the film and add this to the review. I know of no film critic / reviewer / rater who does this and I REALLY want this to be something the reviewer values or at least observes and reports, the audience and its reactions and no reviewer goes this far.

3. Input their credentials. Why should we, your readers care what you say if you don't tell us?

"I have an MA in film criticism at USC and have had a column in the Boston Globe for 5 years for instance. Those are credentials.

I have watched 4000 films, have an MA in communication and write reviews for the Palm Beach Post are credentials too. Just show me, tell me.

You liking movies and wanting to give your opinion are not credentials that matter to me and I would definitely wonder about consistency.

4. Pause briefly. IF you are writing a lengthy review for film students, peers, why not write a short version too, for movie goers? Stars, BRIEF synopsis, NO tells about the ending. HONESTY upfront. I liked it this much x xx xxx xxxx xxxxx or stars, clowns, cows, fish etc.]

For instance, I LOVED Dune and Animal House yet found only one critic who cared for Dune and none that would 'fess up to liking Animal House. Worse, I liked Brotherhood of the Bell and Maltin removed it from his books for some reason.

I did like the film critic Gene Siskel but he died and didn't let me know beforehand. I hated his takes on foreign films.

I wager that Ty Burr knows his stuff but he also spends way too much time on films that I have to read the lines on the bottom of. Heck, even Ebert knows his stuff but really...

Take Apocalypto for instance. FUCK the critics. Now I didn't do this of course and I didn't read a single review. It just sounded interesting, I rented it and it REALLY was interesting. Fabulous production values. LOTS to think about and then reconsider and think more and...

What does some critic's view matter and the answer is, it does not.

A better question for me is how do I find more quality movies FOR ME? Usually, I trust the actors themselves. I subscribe to NetFlix. They allow me to peruse or see blurbs of all of the star's movies that NF has. I read the blurbs and put the films in my queue.

I have had little luck picking films by director. I have very good luck picking flicks by the top stars.

For the above film, Apocalypto I wanted to see more about the top warrior of each group for instance. NF allows me to search in this way.

Do your own research on movies. For that matter, think your own thoughts and live your own life.

Check out your favorite critics which is research too.

Life, what a concept.

Butter Milk and Soy Sauce For Breakfast

Butter Milk and Soy Sauce For Breakfast
by
Robin Hall


I was a bit skeptical about this combo but, Mmm, tasty. I also had some peanut butter with crackers and finished my breakfast with a root beer float.

This is all I have to say on the topic.

Rituals Part Two, and who the fuck made football such a life enhancing sport?

Rituals Part Two, and who the fuck made football such a life enhancing sport?
by
Robin Hall


First off, this note will be somewhat more confabulated than usual and be sure to read the last paragraphs.

For some reason, humans seem to need rituals. We completely made up religions and gods to serve this need. Later on we found even more need for rituals and made up sports.

Then we somehow blended sports and religions. Its only christian to cheer at a football game on Friday or Saturday then calm down in church on Sunday. Its only christian to say prayers, both for the fans and the players, to absolutely KILL your opponents.

Of course the same holds for war. EVERY war I am aware of has its own form of this but typically, some moron or other gives a prayer to THE ONLY TRUE GOD, that they KILL their opponents.

I find this confusing. Since the other team OR war opponent is doing the very same, who wins? That is who's version of god or prayer gets to claim victory?

I find it demeaning of humanity that "teams" "pray" to KILL their opponents. Do they think their own brand of religion deserves to win? And do they blame their own gods IF they lose? Is everyone missing this bullshit? I am not that smart. Maybe I am missing something or???

Think for a moment. There is true heresy going on. One team believes their prayers will bring home the trophy. The other team believes the same. The players and fans both pray to win and in any sort of logic I can come up with, one of the teams is being heretical.

The range of this foolishness is astonishing too. American football, basketball, baseball fans and players are involved in this praying to win. Most of the rest of the world has the same thing going on for football aka soccer.

Tennis is in the game, golf. I don't see that much of curling and cannot speculate on this and other minor sports like competitive eating which is now considered a sport along with poker and that silly flag waving thing now considered an Olympic sport, but what do I know?

There are MANY other attempts at life enhancing rituals. Take ISA, EST, both communication workshops elevated to ritual status. And that sort of ritual / religion perpetrated by the science fiction writer, Hubbard, uh, scientology?

Lets not forget TM and the followers of OSHO®, the man formerly know as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and I SERIOUSLY doubt HE knew of this registered or copyrighted name and isn't that silly? Is this like Prince Rogers Nelson?

I am sure all their followers will call for a fatwah or the like and I will be assassinated soon. Maybe I should be.

Still, humans do seem to want rituals and I don't see any good ones happening. Maybe some of the rituals in a novel like Dune will become popular what with the psychedelic drug involved. And isn't that similar to what users tried with LSD?

I will close now and check my mail box for a bomb.

Later note. Today I was emailing my friend and the ritual of the theater / theatre came up. I guessed that our modern day theatre IS a form of ritual like religion and sport BUT with theater, we all can participate on many levels.

With professional theatres we can visit, often view the finest of actors, view the cutting edge of stage work: lights, scenery, props and FX.

Beforehand we can read the plays and do our own thinking. Maybe another year we can be in these same plays in school or community theater.

I did all of this with One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, being the cuckoo I am. It was a slightly different order but the rituals were performed, the creativity NEEDED in a good ritual so WE benefit, not just observe, that was there too.

I auditioned for the play in college. Dale Harding. I got the part, read the book, went to rehearsals, did the play.

Several years later a movie was made with our top actors. I waited eagerly and was simply overwhelmed at this HIGHLY decorated film. I got to relive EVERYTHING I had put into the ritual. I recalled the audition, reading the book, the performances then the movie THEN I did the same part in community theatre and was further amazed at it all.

This was a creative ritual that I participated in.

I didn't watch some self sanctified religious zealot telling me I needed to believe ONLY in him, his version of the rituals of life, his personal higher power.

I also did not have to sit on the sidelines of some silly sporting event, wear cartoonish clothes and shout at referees, players and other fans. At the end of the event I don't have to shout impotently, "We won, we won." Jerry Seinfeld pounced on this very thing in a routine and added something like, " No THEY won, you watched." This was fine comedy, a fine comedian.

When WE get to create our own rituals and participate in them like we can do with theater, well what more can we hope for from rituals? Hey, check out local theaters, community theatres, school theaters and give them your best: acting, directing, lights, scenery, tickets. Make your own rituals, make them fun, meaningful. Make them YOURS.

Learmont

Learmont
by
Robin Hall, first called Robert Rayburn Learmont, Jr.


I suppose there are worse things than to be born into a family who didn't want you.

I suppose there are worse things than to be born into a Scot clan too small or too insignificant to even have its own tartan.

I often wonder about lots of things like why would ones male progenitor not want his own son or why his family would not or why ones female progenitor CHOOSE not do RIGHT and tend to her first born? Yet these things are real.

When these sorts of things happen, what is the offspring to do with NO family support from either parent when one is as damaged as I am? Worse, when the parent in place refuses to observe reality AND her responsibilities? And the other half of the so-called family wishes to ignore its responsibilities, its very own child, its grandchild?

Tartans are a small part of anyone's world but the family responsibilities, which person of consciousness could do this to their own son and not make a point of fixing the wrongs THEY perpetrated on their OWN child?

Tricky questions, eh? But THEY ARE WRONG these insults to decency. Shouldn't things be fixed when they can, when they are finally observed, recognized?

Likely, nothing happens. TRUTH gets ignored. Reality is ignored. Pain for the ignored child of misfortunes continues. Life, as lived.

Raise Your Hand if you are a Drunk and read further about Inconvenient Truths

Raise Your Hand if you are a Drunk and read further about Inconvenient Truths.
by
Robin Hall who has his hand raised 5 21 7


Do any folks with no addiction really understand this problem? Alcohol, other drugs, even gambling, sex and MANY obsessions count here.

We, the afflicted, are left with our addictions or those silly meetings and what sort of choice is that?

What is the underlying problem? Take the views of the world's top thinkers on these problems: psychiatrists, real doctors and fringe thinkers like self sanctified psychologists. Toss in these problems. Ask them to be honest, a problem considering their training of course.

So what do you get? Imagine asking this sort of thing of a bright 12 year old, a sturdy hound or your wall. This IS the problem.

Throw in the DRUG company's PR bullshit, stir in public opinion and what do you really get?

Yes, MOST of the sufferers keep suffering. The pharmaceutical companies keep making $$ on suspiciously ill-conceived treatments that mirror so-called mental health treatments.

Duh, where are the stats that show anything real? Which sufferers would STATE they are better?

So, that is today's rant.

While I am ranting. An Inconvenient Truth by VP Gore and other Inconvenient Truths like Michael Moore's Sicko, well there are truths no one wants to know about and our futures are being trashed by our willingness to stick our heads in the sand or up our asses. Shame on us. I voted for VP Gore and felt he would have done a MUCH better job than his opponent.

Freedom FROM religion

Freedom FROM religion
by
Robin Hall


Do you think there would be mass slaughterings by adults if, as children, the slayers had not been twisted by the religious? Stay a while on this thought. Its not comfortable for most. Wars, suicide bombings and the like are continuing today. They kill us and we have no say in these slaughterings.

What if there was no religion? What if everyone was free to think as they chose and all were raised to think for themselves?

How many wars would not have been fought, how many lives would not been lost if there was NO RELIGION to pervert the human spirit?

Think further. Just which WAR in our history would have been fought with no religion to twist our thinking process, our minds? Point to a single major war where religion or some other form of mind control was not involved.

Name even a single war started by those of us without religion. One, just one.

Suggest why a single person would wish to blow himself or herself up if religion had not twisted their minds at an early age. Why would anyone do this?

A brief aside. Wouldn't this particular form of perversion get better overall results if the suicider just called a press conference in the middle of a large field, told their story to the press and then blew up themselves ONLY?

A problem occurs for us when we ponder this sort of thing. The problem is obvious. Its religion. Some god or other that humans made up is then changed to BE real rather than to be a way to improve on ourselves then humans began forcing children to BELIEVE and making them pay future prices for having been perverted in the first place and NO child ever asked to be perverted in this way.

Think about all the things these twisted adult religionists have forced their own societies to do or not do. Think again if these twisted brains had not been perverted in the first place by the religions some other MAN, as a rule, came up with to control others.

Now, without religion, people get to think for themselves. With it, the views of past generations of religionists RULE the present group. Seems wrong to me, allowing the perversions of MEN from past generations ruling the present.

I could be wrong but am I? Think for yourself now but remember, most of the laws are made by MEN from the past who's lives, who's thoughts were perverted by religion and THOSE MEN are ruling you today. Perverted and damaged men of the past ruling YOU today. Seems wrong to me.

How many of us wouldn't have better lives if the symbols of religion like the swastika, cross, Magen David or crescent had not been invented by MEN to remind EVERYONE of the power of their MANmade religions?

Dialing 504

Dialing 504
by
Robin Hall


If you have lived there, go again. If you visited there, visit again.

Tell me for an absolute certainty that your heartstrings don't connect there. Tell me this. Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want to BE there.

For some of us, well, its where we DO want to be. We may not be able to afford it. We may wish to shun it for "intellectual" reasons but its there and we WANT to be there too and how could we not?

Just watching a flick about it like a Love Song for Bobby Long draws us back.

Remembering the sweet Barbara Duffy draws us back.

ISA makes us remember. Jackson Square and smiling Andy on a horse and beignets and Tipitinas and the wonderful sounds of Professor Longhair and that was NOT his real name and I have one of his cards to prove it.com... Henry Roeland Byrd . Trump that. The Radiators. The rest. There is a beat that can't be beat and YOU KNOW THIS.

Just look me in the eye and be honest and say you don't want to live there at least part time. Look within yourself and state you do not want to go back. I want to and hope I can.

Revenge

Revenge
by
Somefuckingidiotyoudontwanttoknowormaybesuchawonderfulpersonyoudontdeservetoknowormaybesomeoneyouwillknowandloveforever.comornot
OK
by
Robin Hall

Revenge is a dish best served cold etc.

Does the topic of revenge haunt you from time to time? You want to get back something someone has stolen like your dignity?

Hmm. I looked up revenge in some bible or other. Revenge is mine saith the lord. Well, strike me dead.

I thought past this with google's help of course.

Maybe we should not seek revenge since it would take from us more than the original theft. We give up too much to extract a penalty from the perpetrator.

There were several people in my past I REALLY wanted to hurt in the revenge sort of way. One spent his entire adult life as a city bus driver. Duh, how much more revenge is possible within the confines of the law?

Another, a fellow who physically hurt me thought he was the next Elvis and ended up running a fishing camp in Arkansas. I am batting a thousand so far and didn't do a thing.

Yet another fellow who hurt me lost his job after hurting me. I did nothing to cause this either. Still batting 1000.

There was an unintended family member WAY more fond of golf than of his own adopted son who couldn't play that silly game for the last decade of his life. Sweet revenge and no input from me.

Half sister was a drug addict. She definitely TRIED to hurt me. Just count her rehab tries. No input from me.

Female progenitor who did NOTHING to help me and has lived her life trying to substitute a card game for doing the right thing, BEING A MOTHER TO ME.

Female progenitor's brother, taking the high road, thinking he DID help. Guess what? A life duller than dirt and knowing it.

Say, maybe there is simply NO NEED FOR revenge. There IS one other fellow who has hurt me. I can only hope.

I rest my case.

Still Born

Still Born
by
Robin Hall


I want a manual for life. There is none. DRAT.

Sure most religions STATE they have this manual but don't be fooled. Their bibles are simply collections of stories written by MEN. These stories then take on a life of their own and we are stuck if we believe what comes next, that the collections are, magically, divine. WTF?

Still, we are born and must live and often we must live in situations that don't support our basic selves which we must discover on our own.

Maybe your birth family is smarter than you. Maybe you are smarter than they are. We are still born into these families or we are orphans who are in families that have the same problems.

Sometimes the family structure is aimed at helping its young find his or her own best path and wouldn't it be nice if this was the rule rather than the exception? My guess is its unlikely to happen due to the parental unit's own failings but being still born into these families or finding yourself in one, we must live.

If the family is basically prejudiced against different others, we do NOT have to acquire these prejudices. Your folks hate ?___? blacks, whites, Asians, gays, tall people etc.? A good lesson for us is to observe and find our own way and live that when we are able to take care of ourselves.

If the family is business oriented and you are not? You MUST work, start early learning some useful trade.

The family is religious and you are not? Go along till you can earn your own way.

Etc... The family does not suit? Live and learn. Get strong and tough, but NOT mean. Get strong and tough intellectually, physically, emotionally and find your own way to a useful system of personal responsibility. These things will help you grow up until you can move out.

Well, enough for now. You are still born and if the family fits, you are lucky. If not, grow into your own person as quickly as possible and live your own life.

Perfection

Perfection
by
Robin Hall


I looked this word up on google which led to answers.com's reference to the American Heritage Dictionary definition. I preferred the 4th definition, but that's just me. "An instance of excellence."

Next I looked up perfect. LOTS of choices here too. I liked # 8 "Excellent and delightful in all respects: a perfect day."

My choices of the definitions are what I am discussing here and are what I was pondering before I looked the words up.

Say we watch a movie and we think its perfect. Maybe others don't agree but who cares? Maybe we "rate" it among our very favorites OR realize the quality of the flick. We can say its a perfect movie. An instance for me is Hud. Not a very favorite emotionally but it IS perfect.

Another film, Broken Trail. Well, for me, its perfect. A fine star giving us his best. Its perfect and its among MY FAVORITES.

TV. Boston Legal; Star Trek, Next and MASH are all perfect, for me. I am pleased to have found each of them.

Photography. Adam's Moonrise, Hernandez, New Mexico, 1941 is just perfection. He worked very hard to capture the image, print it. Perfection.

Painting, dance, sculpture, music. Virtually any art form has instances we can enjoy at our highest abilities. Perfection for us to prize.

There is also perfection in daily life. Your town's best carpenter, electrician, plumber, waitress and janitor have had perfect days. Maybe no one noticed. Maybe they themselves did not, but perfection was part of their lives. They achieved such a high level of work that perfection was theirs, if briefly.

That is the way of it. Each of us live our lives and sometimes our lives are perfect. Some very few of us have days where our output for these perfect days is long remembered and cherished by others. Everyone benefits, sometime for centuries as in an enduring painting or piece of music.

However, perfection in any single moment of ones life is still perfection and we can KNOW this if we are open to it. We do not need to tell anyone, to brag. We just have this perfection and know our own lives have meaning and that IS what life is about don't you think?

Yesterday, 5 11 7

Yesterday, 5 11 7
by
Robin Hall


Where to start?

The good bits included a new pair of pants, seeing the Smoky Mountains, or? Smokey Mountains?, smoking and a good sandwich from one of our national chains of sandwich makers which was open when I was hungry, 8 AM.

The VA, once again, [ appeared to ] lie to me. No news to others who rely on VA health care.

I did get to meet a very decently trained real psychiatrist, a rarity in the VA system. Here was an intelligent, somewhat disheveled doctor who listened. What a treat.

Alcohol is still in my life or more accurately, just showed up unexpectedly or, you get the picture, never left.

The drugs or rTMS like devices to treat the real problems of the depression syndrome are, hopefully, no more than 4 decades away. I will try to wait patiently and will likely not see them unless I live to be 102. Who knew things could be so good for someone living in poverty?

Now as to the question of Michael Moore. The government is investigating this very valued USA citizen. Our government is actually wasting resources investigating a journalist. I often miss things but why would the government BE wasting resources investigating a journalist when there are terrorists trying to KILL US?

Silly me, I thought there was free speech here in our wonderful country, as long as it didn't call for violent overthrow of the government or stuff like yelling FIRE in a building when there was no fire.

More thoughts on the self sanctified religious: christian, muslim or whatever. Folks, these radicals are STEALING our basic USA rights. Lets keep this in mind while we ponder new political candidates.

I Hate Wikis

I Hate Wikis
by
Robin Hall


Regardless of your Internet savvy, your ability to speak Hawaiian etc. this has just gone too far. Wikis, wikipedias, wiki dot com etc. are simply made up foolishness.

Say you are doing REAL research and need references. NO FUCKING SCHOOL IN THE WORLD allows you to site a wiki source. If any do, and I missed them, pardon the fuck out of me.

Wiki sources are NOT real. No one KNOWS who wrote the article in some wikifoolishness.com and these articles are no more than bull shit "sources".

Now some articles are useful if, and only if, no REAL encyclopedia has an article about whatever topic you are seeking information about. Some moron or other truly feels they ARE the end all and be all of information sources about this topic.

Yet, where is the beef? Who writes this bull shit? Why don't the writer's credentials matter in the least? Who should or would actually care what some unknown, uncredentialed writer would say about anything?

Yet, wiki foolishness abounds and before the last 4 years, was the word even a word? Wiki wiki was/were the real word/s / phrases. It is real in only one language in the world, but wiki is a silly coined phrase / word that means nothing other than someone/s can write whatever they wish about anything and add their foolishness to others foolishness's.

I will stick to Britannica for my info needs and do my own research.

5 2 7

5 2 7
by
Robin Hall

Spread my ashes in a garbage dump, write my epitaph in the sand, "Here lies no one. He had champagne tastes and a beer belly."

Movies, movies, movies.

Well here is a movie to see, Sherrybaby. If you are older than 45 you MIGHT recall Frankie Valli's song Sherry. Maybe its related, maybe not.

Sherrybaby is dreary. Its about drug abuse AFTER child abuse followed by prison time and... Isn't that just it, all the ands?

Its almost about hope and redemption but that implies blame at some level.

Truth. Maybe not your truth and don't show this movie to children and its NOT a date movie but there is truth here. Maggie Gyllenhaal tells the TRUTH when she is on the screen, truth about the characters she IS. Watch her for this truth.

I wish this flick was fun. Its not. I would only recommend it to one of my friends who seeks truth at times. TRUTH is in this film.

Yesterday, I didn't feel so bad. I watched another film with truth, The Station Agent. Truth. No bombs, dystopic futures or todays. Just truth in film making. Or maybe I just liked it.

4 26 7

4 26 7
by
Robin Hall


Today the LA Times had an article about Shrek and wondered if this cartoon should be allowed to be a spokes "person" for junk food. There was more foolishness but not the article nor the LA Times is at fault in this. "Political Correctness" is to blame.

Folks, we need to STOP this NOW. PC is a tool of the religious "right" in my view and we are being tricked into believing it has anything to do with right-ness, politics or anything other than religious-ness.

Anyway, fat cartoons are hardly new. Barney was fat. Wilma was not trim and it, fat-ness, didn't stop any parent from letting their tots view that cartoon. Check out the Cartoon Channel for more examples, check your memory if you are older than 32. Fat and cartoons go together. Teletubbies, Sponge Bob etc. come to mind.

Now I have never liked cartoons and am not voting for them here but really, do politics, religion and the junk food industry not have suspicious connections?

Is there a solution? Who cares? Change the channel to vote. Don't buy the products to vote your mind. Watch TV with your kids and point out the logical fallacies of cartoons and see how much that works.

A Florida state senator or representative and a preacher both want there to be state law to ban thongs [ excuse me but just who the fuck gets to be the inspector? ] and / or baggy pants. OOPS, jail time, is a suggested penalty. OK, the watered down bill suggests suspension but WTF?

My failing for today is buying some half & half and mixing it with Nestles Quik. Who cares? I am an adult and can eat what I want.

I will likely have more failings in days to come, maybe more today. Feel free to have your own blog or domain to express your views. I can visit them or not, as I choose, at least for now.

If the religious have their way, I may not be able to choose later on.

Cream or Worse, Firearms

Cream or Worse, Firearms
by
Robin Hall


There are often worse things than ATF, "Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (US Department of Justice)." Hmm. Maybe not but maybe. I have problems with alcohol and tobacco but ATF isn't concerned that I use these, only that the tax is paid for using them.

I don't own firearms, so NP there either BUT I do see firearms on TV and I am positive no one NEEDS an automatic weapon to hunt Bambis, rabbits, squirrels or the like and I am also sure the NRA is running on fumes with their tired old bull shit about Americans need to have automatic weapons IF America is to be truly free.

Other oldisms like people kill and automatic weapons just sit in the closet, well, judge for yourself and HEY, Fuck all you NRA members with the stupid bumper sticker, but Charlton Heston was never MY president and I am suspicious of the patriotism of any of you morons with this bumper sticker on your truck, car or bicycle.

Anyway, back to cream and other problems and don't ignore the above rant due to your thinking I have no right to my say or that it is not accurate.

Er, what was the question? Other problems. Is there such a thing as an addictive personality? I DNK, do not know. I do know that I am addicted to alcohol and tobacco. I also know that other substances cause problems in my life. Sugar, fats like cream and naked carbohydrates like strawberry preserves, almost naked ones like ice cream and just eating Nestles Quik out of the box. Troubling indeed.

Well, enough of this. Feel free to start your own rant in a blog and maybe it will be fun like I find mine to be.

Give us this day our daily drug/s of choice

Give us this day our daily drug/s of choice
by
Robin Hall

I will call this the first day of the rest of my life or the beginning of the end. I drank the last three ounces of vodka at 2:20 AM, smoked a Kool and am sitting here wondering if a visit to Lucifer's or Suzanne's liquor stores will go down later in the day. Suzanne's was closer and won.

Can you feature that, HAVING to choose each day whether to drink or not, whether to smoke or not and the daily grind just to swim or sink? That is the trial I will talk about here and the trial visitors have observed from the start.

Just now I looked at the wall in front of my computer. There are two 3 X 5 cards that pertain, others that do not. One has the date of my first AA meeting I went to. It was last year, 12 9 06.

The other card lists my first day without alcohol, 11 21 6, the day I tried detox the second time. This day was crossed out. The new sober day was 3 29 7 and it is crossed out. Its now 4 23 7. I failed. I should cross myself out.

Maybe this time will be different? LOL. I first tried to delete the alcohol Dec. 2005 in a short VA detox. Well done me AND VA. I was drinking again 2 days later.

Next try was Dec. 2006 in a local detox, 17 days worth. The doc STATED something like this, "You are in the best place for you and that dual-diagnosis hospital in KY is not certified." I suspect fowl play.

I was without alcohol for 4 months after that BUT began smoking, again, after 35 years. Plus, I have some serious bills from that doctor plus LOTS of Valium, celexa galore and you don't want to know how many seroquel I will soon have from other sources. Talk about LD-50.

Now isn't this a merry go round? All those years without tobacco, then I slide back into smoking within 3 days while in detox for alcohol. Now the coughing has begun in earnest.

Coughing. What fun. My mother and the moron she married were smokers. I got to cough a lot while with them. Oh, bronchitis it was called, from second hand smoke and gas heating.

I am stuck with two addictions, maybe three, sugar.

WTF, sugar? Does 1/2 gallon of ice cream for breakfast count? Time will tell and so will I.

These are my notes: dumb de dumb dumb for all of you old enough for the reference to Dragnet's theme.

Newspeak, Duckspeak and PCspeak

Newspeak, Duckspeak and PCspeak
by
Robin Hall


In Orwell's novel 1984 the ongoing rule for language was that it grow smaller each year. The extraordinary languages of the world, English was the model, were to be diminished day by day. Fewer words were allowed till one simply expresses thoughts by quacking.

This seems to be what is happening today with the inanity called political correctness. Lets call it pcspeak for now and lets also call a spade a spade. Or is that prejudicial to spades? Perhaps spades would prefer the term hand operated earth moving equipment? Hmm. That seems almost the opposite of newspeak. More words, less precision.

I am getting confused and with good reason.

Today's news suggested a professor was fired for using a term like rich white kids. Duh. Sure there was more to the firing but when we go down the road to censorship and cloak this religiously motivated travesty in the guise of political correctness and ban words, phrases and dare I say it, thoughts, well what is next?

I am sure my clothes will be banned soon. Maybe my car isn't up to someones standards. Maybe my hair will be the target of some assholes flamethrower because its too long or short or brown or curly... Is curly pc? Yikes, maybe it should be un-straight.

Now while they are at it, why not ban atheists, gays, smokers, drinkers, old people, thinking people, dog lovers, cat lovers, lovers of any sort and lets not forget unruly children, the rude, the humorous the artistic and all religions not in vogue. Say, radical muslims are already trying much of this, or isn't it pc to even mention terrorism?

The greatest historical experiment in free speech, the USA and our Constitution are being STOMPED on folks. All politically correct, original American language, thoughts and views are going to come from a very small book if this trend continues, just like Newspeak.

Broadcasters are being fired for doing what they were once paid to do and the right wingers and the religious are having a field day in their climb to world domination.

I say FUCK THE FUCKING FUCKERS. Take back our right to listen to Stern, Imus, Bill O'Reilly or anyone if we like, while smoking a Kool, drinking a bud or lighting up a doobie. Ok, I don't watch these fellows, so sue me.

We can take back our right to think for ourselves while we are at it and not have to waste so much time monitoring every little word or phrase either. And whoever got hurt by changing channels? That is how I keep things I don't like off my TV screen.

We must begin to crawl out of our holes and reclaim life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness before its too late. Oops, can't I say happiness, or was it the fucks that piss off censors?

I hope the birds don't take offense and ban Robin on birdvision.

Perhaps I should shut up.

Quack.

Movies, Books and Music About IT

Movies, Books and Music About IT
by
Robin Hall


There are many good movies to help those without IT to understand our illness/es better. The films often offer accurate portrayals of people's lives with brain disorders.

Yesterday I watched a fine example with Richard Gere and Lena Olen, Mr. Jones. Gere did a masterful job with the up, down and in-between times caused by manic depression. One thing was especially vivid, the fact that Mr. Jones would rather take his chances with the often psychotic depression and risk suicide than to not have his "addiction" to the manic phase.

I have experienced this with each new medication that comes out for my IT, major depression. I lose myself in the meds, sometimes for months and would rather take my chances than take the meds, which don't work for me anyway.

There are other good TV shows and movies to help make clear what is happening for those afflicted. Perhaps they can assist your friends and family see deeper into the problems these films portray and at the same time offer emotional distance by watching actors rather than us.

The TV show Monk does a great job showing OCD and anxiety. It also lets us laugh and cry with Adrien. The excellent cast adds so much they are all to be commended. What a wonderful and rare person Trudy must have been.

Cracker, an older UK TV series shows various personality defects in one of the best series ever.

The movie Lost Weekend with Ray Milland is relentless in its no holds barred portrayal of an alcoholic. Milland's Night Into Morning serves well too as a cautionary tale of alcoholism.

Modern films about alcoholism are part of the story in Changing Lanes and 28 Days.

Joanne Woodward stars in The Three Faces of Eve, a grim and gritty portrayal of MPD, multiple personality disorder. Sybil with Sally Field was a well done TV movie about the same disorder.

Mark Vonnegut's book Eden Express is an interesting self-portrayal of schizophrenia. Now he is a physician and Dr. Vonnegut's view of that time in his life may suggest he had manic-depression.

An excellent movie about schizophrenia is A Beautiful Mind. I quote Netflix here, "John Forbes Nash Jr. (Russell Crowe) was a brilliant economist -- when his mind was clear. But life changed forever with the revelation that he was a schizophrenic. Nash's brilliance persisted amidst the anguish his mental illness caused for him and his wife (Jennifer Connolly), and 40 years after his diagnosis, he won the Nobel Prize for economics. Connolly's acting and Ron Howard's direction won Oscars, and the film was named Best Picture. " This entry was suggested by Anonymous.

There are many examples of missed diagnosis. Early in my life I was diagnosed as having boarder line schizophrenia with recessive tendencies. Later this was changed to various sorts of depression and even later major depression.

I can still remember many of the doctors STATING, "I have just the medication for you." Each was wrong.

Music too can offer observations into our world. Velvet Underground's Heroin song is a step by step visualization of shooting up and its effects.

We live in very stressful times. Knowing that something is wrong with us is useful but it rarely helps us improve. Some of us do improve over time, some do not. Thousands of suicides a year point to the failure of the pharmaceutical companies and the medical professions to really do their job. I hope things improve.

If you would like to add movies, books or music to this list, please email me and I will check the offerings out, then credit you or not as you wish.

Studying IT

Studying IT
by
Robin Hall


One would think studying IT, your own IT, the illness at your throat, that you could learn and benefit. Sadly, this has not been true for me. Maybe you benefitted and good on you as the Australians say.

For ages I hoped my family would do the necessary studying. They might then treat me better, sympathize or at least tolerate me. They did not.

Two of my friends did some of this studying and do sympathize, do tolerate me. One other tolerates me.

The psychiatrists I have had access to, due to my poverty and their not being interested in pro bono, well, I was quickly out their door. I hoped beyond hope I would find a good doctor. I did not. Worse, I often knew more of the depression syndrome than these low-rent docs did.

More, with the poverty I exist in, my dual diagnosis of ongoing alcoholism AND the destructive depression syndrome at my throat there are simply no places to even try a dual diagnosis treatment.

I called 15 clinics I found purporting to treat dual diagnosis. LOL and no surprise. NOT ONE OF THEM would treat me without at least the entire cost of their program in advance.

The members of the local AA didn't want to entertain the fact that depression began first and needs to be treated first. They had not done the homework. Oy.

... Well, input your own story, rearrange the details and you will know the difficulties in just living on any particular day. Maybe studying your IT will work for you. Maybe not.

Twilight Zoned

Twilight Zoned
by
Robin Hall


The days between light and dark confuse me. I often have no clue who I am or where I am other than I woke up and the room looks familiar.

I am is all that my brain processes. These days are repetitive. Those of us with IT know. Others who can actually see more than their own selves can see THAT we are confused. They may have seen this before. They do not KNOW anything about this however.

Another day of survival. Sleep usually comes after a day like this. We may awake to another in-between day. We may be TFU or, if we are lucky, it may be one of those rare days of grace.

Quotes, Sayings, Rhymes and Other Foolishnesses

Quotes, Sayings, Rhymes and Other Foolishnesses
by
Robin Hall, and Others


I hope at least some of these amuse you. They are what I make up or paraphrase, from time to time, or what I collect.



The depth of your shallowness amazes me.

He wasn't playing with a full deck of cards and even those were marked.

"A waist is a terrible thing to mind." Betty J. Ross Used in Alfred: Three is Company Too.

Money may not buy love but it can certainly rent happiness.

A pig in your day keeps the doctors away. Used in Alfred: 3 is Company

Pigs are people too and vice versa.

He had a lot more dollars than sense. Used in Alfred: 3 is Company

"YOU MY FRIEND ARE IN ANOTHER WORLD BUT THAT IS ALLRIGHT BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU THERE."
RAYMOND MACE

It doesn't pay to work for free.

The only thing money can't buy is poverty.

If heartbreakers/jawbreakers break hearts, what do wind breakers do?

Insanity has its drawbacks.

Its too bad that getting one's beauty rest rarely works.

Beauty is not just seen with the eyes, it is felt by the heart.

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

Life is full of obstacle illusions -Grant Frazier

He was so stupid he played Russian roulette with an automatic.

"When you are a child, no one tells you the price tag on your dreams." Mike Hammer.

" Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." Einstein

A day without chocolate is like a, a...Hmm, how would I know I don't have any of them?

You are never too old for dreams but don't wait too long to do something about them.

If there was just a single perfect item in the whole world, who would know?

If you are watching a pot with water, and waiting for trouble, would they combine and neither one happen? How would we know?

How would you know if you were losing your memory or hallucinating?

I have fillings and caps older than you.

If I was a drinkin man, I would be.

If you are presented with the problem: is the glass half full, or half empty, be creative. Tell the person to supply the missing information and answer their own question.

Study the past, live in the present, prepare for the future.

Life is a nightmare and its very early morning.

Whats a young whippersnapper? Why don't we hear of old ones? Where do the young ones go? And what is a whippersnapper anyway?

Whoever said, "Life begins at 50," was probably 47 and wasn't poor.

Whoever said, "Life begins at 50," lied.

Sometimes we never know where we are headed. The only stumbling block is doing nothing.

Snorfle says, "It doesn't hurt to be alert."

"If at first you don't succeed isn't acceptable for skydivers." Unknown

"She wasn't clever enough to be a simpleton." Unknown.

"It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

"If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts."

I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart." Unknown

Sanity is a state of mind some folks spend more time in than other folks do.

"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved." Victor Hugo

"Etiquette is what you are doing and saying when people are looking and listening. What you are thinking is your business." Virginia Cary Hudson

Arising in the morning is exhausting and has its drawbacks.

Sing with me your songs, I'll share with you my dreams. Used in Kitten Dreams.

"Anything is good if you like it." Willie Mae Smith

Love is a two way street. Don't be a road hog.

Having multiple personalities is good. After all, everyone is entitled to change their mind.

"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat." Unknown

Beer. Its the next best thing to having a life. or to having dsl. or ISDN.

"I THINK WE SHOULD LOOK AT THIS WORLD IN WONDERMENT AND WITH THE ZEAL OF
A 6 YEAR OLD.I THINK IT WOULD BE A BETTER WORLD." Raymond Mace

Keep the best leave the rest.

Attention doesn't cost, it pays so pay attention.

Ronald Reagan was an attractive president and a decent actor.

Many are called. Few are there when the phone rings.

"Always listen to your heart it never lies --------only we lie to ourselves ASK THE QUESTION, WHAT WOULD LOVE DO? That's always the answer." Reverend Wayne ?__?

Skookum: HUGE Big etc.

"Go with the people who believe in you." Brenda Beadenkopf

If ignorance is bliss, you must be in paradise.

Remember your dreams, forget your nightmares.

Remember your dreams. Its fun.

Dreams are your hopes. Remember them.

Do what you can with what you have. Accept the results.

Damp, dark and dirty. Roaches delight, people's fright.

"Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet" Unknown

If you can't be clever, be brief.

"MY MOTTO FOR THE WEEK IS TO NOT WHINE SO MUCH. BUT ITS' SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HARRRRRRRDDDDDDDD" Mary Pulliam

My second coffee of the day is beer.

The ties that bind must come from the heartstrings.

Don't be pig headed. Hey, why not? Pigs are fun. OK, be pig headed but don't be obstreperous.

If you are down in the dumps, make dumplings.

If you have the blues, sing them loudly for all to hear and take comfort from them.

If you can't do what you want, do what you must or what you can.

" It's like magic. When you live by yourself, all your annoying habits are gone!" Merrill Markoe

NOTHING is foolproof, believe me, I know.

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood." Tom Robbins

A mind is a terrible thing to lose.

You can't fast forward in real time.

Memory is good.

"I've come to accept my own silliness and feel more peaceful doing so." H. Jones

S/he was clock stopping ugly.

When you put your foot down, make sure you don't step on anyone's toes, including your own.

Snorfle says: "Wow, you can do something no one else in the whole wide world can do, be yourself."

Shampoo is wasted on a hairless head.

A good whiz / poo is worth a field of broccoli.

"One tequila, two tequilas, three tequilas, floor." Unknown but probably from Conch Republic

Sanity is tricky. Keeping it is a life time job.

"There are good giggles and great giggles but no bad giggles." Snorfle

Sausage is a full time food.

"Heaven is the place where, when you get there, all the dogs you ever loved come running to greet you." Robert B. Parker

She was the sort of woman who would make you limp, and like it, and come back for more.

The ties that bind must come from the heart strings.

"Ah, red and fine summer! I would love it, if not [for the ] a heat and a dust, and mosquitoes, and the flies…". The Russian writer Pushkin

When someone says, "Let sleeping dogs lie," what sort of lies do sleeping dogs tell?

"I see your IQ test results were negative." Unknown

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. Life goes on.

Chaos and panic, my work here is done.

Is it time for your medication or mine?" Unknown

"If I'd been a ranch, they would've named me Bar Nothing." Rita Hayworth in "Gilda" (1946)

"We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance." Japanese Proverb

If jawbreakers break jaws, what do windbreakers do?

I respect your right to be a fool.

"Although the moon is only 1/6 the size of the Earth, it is further away." Unknown

Drink the fifth, then plead the fifth. You can't go wrong.

"One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you're feeling blue is that he doesn't try to find out why." Unknown

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." Joe Weinstein

As snug as a pig in a rug.

A pig is worth a thousand words or more.

A fart by any other name smells the same.

A pig in the hand is worth 3 in a tree. Hmmm. Maybe not. Three pigs in a tree is a very rare thing but so is a nice pig in the hand.

Don't buy a pig in a poke. The pig is probably scared, and what is a poke anyway?

Pigs make the heart grow fonder.

"I haven't done enough lately to justify my existence." Betty J. Ross

"Poverty us no disgrace to a man, but it is confoundedly inconvenient." Sydney Smith

"Very few people can afford to be poor." George Bernard Shaw

"For every talent that poverty has stimulated it has blighted a hundred." John Gardner

"In terms of genes, we are 99 percent the same as mice." MARIO CAPECCHI, University of Utah

"NO ONE is so crazy that he cannot find and even crazier person who will understand him." Friedrich Nietzsche

The only general principles are corporal ones.

"Beware: too much ice cream may shrink your pants." Unknown

"Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat." Alex Levine

As long as you are regular, there is hope.

"Fiber will make you free." Unknown

"Life is short, eat dessert." Unknown

What happens when time runs out? Where do we go for more time? Are there time banks or ATMs?

"Never miss a good chance to shut up." Unknown

"Knowledge is the most creative part of the craftsman's skill." A craftsman of Samarkand

"Dare to do less." Roger Ebert in At the Movies

He stood out like a race horse in a corral of gnus.

"The day I do quit, I'll be trying." Liza Minnelli

"Born to be mild." Unknown

Being stupid requires very little thought.

Don't be a pig, be yourself.

He had champagne tastes and a beer belly.

Sincerity is the realist form of flattery.

Heed the calls of nature lest you forget the sound.

We perceive the world but darkly in the shadow of our minds.

The price of sanity is reality.

The price of sanity is sobriety.

How does one distinguish between a conscious decision not to do something and simply forgetting?

For some people a mess is simply a logical disarray.

Think first, ask questions later.

If necessity is the mother of invention, laziness is its father.

The brain is the substance of the mind.

How can someone else know you if you don't know yourself?

Confusion is simply the inappropriate recognition of a problem.

God states the obvious. Humans draw conclusions. Shame on us.

Nature states the obvious. Humans draw conclusions. Shame on us.

"She had a black belt in shopping." Robert B. Parker

She was in a shopping coma.

He was so drunk he tried to eat pussy with chopsticks.

What do you call marijuana you have hidden? Peek a boo.

If silence is golden that woman is a pauper.

My grip on reality is speculative.

Toys are the tools of play / childhood.

Tears are the rivers to the soul.

I came, I saw, I shopped. These two would be funnier in Latin.
I came, I ate, I farted.

Memory is good.

Crystal is the interface between conscious reality and the atomic level.

Poverty is expensive for the poor.

Hermits need love too.

"An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today." Evan Esar

“Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?” Anon

Meals eaten in silence, nourish twice.

"Money is the root of all evil, and a man needs roots." Unknown

We tried. You lied. I cried. Love died.

"A man is basically as faithful as his options." Chris Rock

A less messy and time consuming hobby like just drinking beer and spirits would be MUCH easier, but NO, I wanted deserts like pie, cake, cookies and ice cream too...

Confusion reigns and I am drenched.

Beauty helps us all transcend barriers.

Let bureaucrats, politicians and statesmen [follow in the footsteps of beauty.]
or
Let bureaucrats, politicians and statesmen follow where beauty leads, and observe the changes.

Where there is beauty in nature, there is hope. Preserve beauty, preserve hope, but let beauty die

"If a man says something in a forest and his wife doesn't hear him is he still wrong?" Unknown

How can you tell the difference between a conscious decision not to do something and simply forgetting?

Style is the substance of form.

"Only elephants should wear ivory." George Page, Nature

"Art, it seemed to me, had sought in all ages to provide a language for the mute longing of the divine within us." Herman Hesse

Money may not be the key to happiness, but poverty IS a padlock.

"If I see something sagging, dragging or bagging, I get it sucked, tucked or plucked." Dolly Parton on her love of cosmetic surgery

For every action there is an equal, and usually annoying reaction.

Ancient Chinese pedagogical technique, tea ching.

Loss of nutrients, lea ching.

My family was so poor its coat of arms was a jacket.

In the end, the measure of a human is in dollars and sense, deeds and responsibilities.

Its a jungle out there, and a tangle in here.

Dying is the least of my worries.

Its good to have someone to talk to, even if its yourself.

A life magician is someone who lives life to the fullest without hurting others.

Wind by any other name, smells the same.

A pig in the hand is worth 3 in a bush / tree. Maybe not though. Three bush / tree pigs are very rare.

We live only by a thread of connection to the solidity / reality we think we have.

If you fall over and no one is around, is there a tree in the forest and does anyone care if it makes noise?

Tomorrow is another day. But so was today and yesterday. Did I miss something?


Jenny crack whore and I don't care.
Jenny crack whore and I don't care.
Jenny crack whore and I don't care.
The pipe done blowd us away.



"What flavor of crazy Kool-Aid do they make you drink when you join the physics department." Numbers TV show

For a few, "Ignorance is bliss." For the rest, bliss could simply be ignorance. Wouldn't that be sad?

"Don't get me horny, I'm too sleepy." Unknown, OK, Debbie somethingorother

"I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes." Unknown

Stupidity reigns and I am soaked. or Insanity reigns and I am drenched.

So much nonsense, so little time.

Don't use the psych ward, detox or rehab as a dating service.

Being a fool has few advantages.

"Money talks. Chocolate sings." Unknown

I stopped talking to myself. No one was listening.

"A deaf husband and blind wife make a good marriage." Unknown

You know you are lost when cold vodka and simple syrup tastes GOOD.

I was watching SG-1. They entered a deserted town on some planet and quipped, "This place is deader than a salad bar in Texas."

Life should come with a better instruction manual than I ever got.

"A fool and his money are easily parted" but how many fools HAVE money and what sort of low life motherfucker would steal from a fool? I bet your family is very proud of you con "artists".

If only is a lifetime.

Its hard to go wrong with a second layer of cheese.

" In West TX, 20 pickups outside a joint spells quality." Tony Bourdain

The Food Network is like socializing without the need for people.

As you get older, its best to pee before its too late.

"If you are slower than me, stupider than me and taste, good pass the salt." Anthony Bourdain passing along a quote while eating goose.

Is intellectual moron a disability? LOTS of regional news readers and commentators qualify.

Man cannot live by vodka alone. No, you must also have a good multi-vitamin, extra C, chocolate and cinnamon toast.

Vinegar and garlic in foods seem to produce sweat.

Potato chips taste better than most anything, even chocolate most of the time, for me. I am embarrassed when I purchase them, yet, there is no one here to be embarrassed for so its a waste of energy.

"Was I that forgettable?" Unknown

I never met a chocolate I didn't like.

"Snow is not a wolf in sheep's clothing its a tiger in lambs clothing." Desmond Begley in The Snow Tiger

If you can't disagree with your friends, who WILL listen?

You have nothing to fear but fear itself, and public speaking.

"The world is full of sluts on skates." From the movie All the King's Men.

On being sober. "Multi-tasking is once again possible. There is no such thing as multi-tasking while drunk."

AA sayings: "Get naked inside." In the meetings and "Recovery is an inside job."

"If at first you don't succeed, isn't acceptable for skydivers." Unknown

4 14 7 ??

4 24 07

"Cheap" often comes at a price.

"Knowledge is the most creative part of a craftsman's skill." Abduguffar Khakkulov, a craftsman from Samarkind.

He was like a race horse in a corral of gnus

5 11 7

"Sorry I can't write now [ more or less ], I am up to my eyeballs in FEMA trailers." H. M. Simpson

"The key to success to sincerity. When you can fake that, you have it made." Unknown


Depression is living on the edge of the hurricane of emotions that never get sorted and you are about to hit land.


5 31 7


"Pussy is half priced the next 15 minutes." From Deadwood HBO series. Ian McShaine

6 3 7

"My grandpa quit his job as a pharmacist and started a toothpaste company in London. In England. Talk about optimism." Natalie, on Monk

6 4 7

"Do you really think your psychiatrist is the best judge of who you should sleep with?" 2.5 Men, Charlie Sheen talking to his du jour.

6 15 7

At my age, any day you make it to the loo in time is a good day. Some are not as good as I want.

06/16/2007

The, Oh My Factor. On The Unit, top sargeant has to work with an attractive woman in a foreign country. He says, Oh my, when they meet and he KNOWS he will have sex with her.


06/23/2007

It annoying when someone's ego exceeds their intellect.

If its funny you should like it.

Steven Wright's When the Leaves Blow Away routine: This is an entire comedy ballet in another dimension that I REALLY wanted to be in and I got very close.

07/05/2007

The world is not as sane as I need it to be. I wish I was sane enough for it but am not.

07/07/2007

"If you come to a fork in the road, take it." Unknown


07/12/2007

These days, its tricky to fool everyone but yourself.

07/14/2007

"Our lives shorten by about 1 day every 24 hours. It was ever so." Penny Clarke

07/17/2007

So many toys, so little money.

07/22/2007

I wonder how much safer cars could be if the design engineers of lift bras for A and B cups went into car suspension?

07/23/2007

Drinking jello shots is not a game but you will lose.


07/26/2007

I'm making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice. Heh, heh, heh, motherfuckers. Guess who's houses Santa is visiting this year?

07/27/2007

Just as I suspected, horseshit directly from a horse.


07/28/2007

"My earrings are killing me and I'm in a really bad mood." From the movie Desparate Hours.

07/30/2007

A night in New Orleans was worth a week at any other city.